Eviternal Love
May. 1st, 2019 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shozi_sakurai Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes:
300812 keep tempting me to write more but I'm starting to have doubts about posting this story. And SYARESA98 , itsumo arigatou. ^^
Chapter 4
“Daddy!!” Ken runs towards Jun once he spotted him at the gate.
“Hello, my boy.” Jun greeted, kneeling down and pulls Ken into his hug. “How are you doing today?” Jun asks after he leaves his greeting kiss on Ken’s cheek.
“We learn how to fold paper crane!”
“Really? You can show it to daddy later. Let’s go home.” Jun grins happily at his son.
Jun bids Ken’s teacher goodbye before they walk home together.
“Jya.. Ken, what do you want for dinner?”
“Hmmm.. nothing in particular. Ah, Daddy, I want clam! And shellfish!” Ken says enthusiastically.
Jun stops walking. Clam and shellfish. Damn.
Jun resumes walking when Ken looks at him confusedly. “Clam and shellfish, okay. So, seafood spaghetti tonight? Would you like that?”
“Of course! Daddy’s cooking is the best!” Ken jumps around Jun excitedly while they both walk to the supermarket. However Jun can’t get rid the memory of a certain someone in his head. He wonders why is it that Sho invades his mind so frequently lately. Ken’s “Daddy’s cooking is the best!” reminds him of Sho’s “Your cooking is the best, Jun!” while the man devours the food like he hasn’t eaten for a week. The phrase keeps repeating in his head while he does the grocery shopping. He can’t help wondering a question to Sho in his mind, ‘Are you eating properly, Sho?’
***
“Daddy..”
“Hmm?”
“May I ask something?”
Jun is smoothing Ken’s hair while the boy is folding his paper crane on the low table. They’ve just had their dinner and now lazing around in the living room.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you miss Papa?”
Jun stops his movement and looks at Ken who is now staring at him curiously. “I do,” he answered, eyes holding on Ken’s firmly.
“Doesn’t Papa miss us?” Ken asked in low voice, eyes averting from Jun’s. He looks sad.
Jun resumes his little task before pulling Ken onto his lap. Ken doesn’t protest, instead, he leans on Jun’s chest comfortably. Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s hair. “Ken misses Papa?” he asked.
Ken nods weakly. “I don’t know if I should believe you say Papa still alive. I never met him even once.” Ken admits in small voice.
Jun closes his eyes listening to Ken’s broken voice saying that. He pulls Ken closer to his chest, drawing his arms around the small body. “Kento-kun,” he calls. Ken doesn’t react in his embrace. “Kento,” Jun calls for his attention again. Jun buries his face in Ken’s neck, tightening his embrace. “I’m sorry okay? Honestly even I don’t know if Papa is still alive or not.” Saying those words leaves a pang of guilt in his heart. Ken lives fatherless for 5 years and he never does anything to fix that. He knows how hard it was to live without parents, he lived it for years in the facility, all he had were the caretakers in the facility and Sho’s parents after he met him in his junior high. He knows he’s being unfair with Ken but he can’t bring himself to find another man to replace Sho no matter how long it will take for him to wait for Sho’s come back. He doesn’t know indeed, if Sho is actually still alive or not. He had never heard from him since he left, but he would like to hold on to the believes that Sho will come back. He insists that Sho will return to him again that’s why he is leaving that empty space in his heart until who knows when or at least until he is sure that he will never be able to meet Sho again. But before that time comes, he will never open his heart to anyone. That’s what he had sworn back then, and he intends to keep that promise still.
The problem now is Ken. What should he tell Ken? What should he do so that Ken would understand him? Ken is just a boy, no way he will understand these complicated things. Jun knows he is being selfish but hasn’t he always been like that?
Ken turns his head to look at Jun. Jun let go of his embrace so Ken can move freely. Ken stares in his eyes again. Ken has the facial of Sho. His face is the exact copy of Sho saved for his eyes. Only Ken’s eyes copying Jun. “Don’t you feel lonely?” Ken asks directly.
Jun was taken aback by the question and a bit confused.
“Why don’t you want to find Papa’s replacement? You never know if he will come back or not, right? Why would you wait so long for his return?” Ken asks confusedly.
“I don’t want to find replacement. I love him. I.. I..can’t..” Jun stutters.
“Why you can’t?” Ken asks again. His face is utterly confused. This time he turns around completely to look at Jun face to face.
“Because I love your Papa. I don’t want anyone else except him.” Jun tries to explain. He tucks Ken’s hair that falls on his face behind his ear.
“Even after Papa left you?”
Jun nods firmly without breaking the eye contact they had. He hated the way Ken was phrasing it. Sho didn’t leave him, he wanted to say, but the fact says just that.
“You won’t find anybody else even if I ask you to?”
Jun frowns. He doesn’t understand his son. What is it that he actually wants to know? He shakes his head nonetheless, answering Ken’s question guiltily.
“Good.” Ken states, “because I don’t want anybody else except my Papa too.”
Jun was dumbstruck with the answer. So Ken is also waiting for Sho? He can’t help tearing up at that thought. He draws Ken closer to his chest again and buries his face on Ken’s shoulder. He whispers a soft thank you while rubbing Ken’s back up and down.
Ken snakes his hands around Jun’s neck and hide his face there. “I love you, Daddy.” Ken whispers, resulting Jun to close his eyes and heave a relief sigh silently.
“I love you too my baby.” Jun whispers back. He rocks both of them back and forth, smiling contently. Ken giggles in his shoulders, and Jun felt soft kisses from a pair of lips in his neck. He can’t help but squirming, making Ken laughs. He is ticklish after all. Jun tempted to get revenge by tickling Ken’s side but refrained from doing so, instead, he pulls Ken away from his embrace and let him finish his abandoned paper crane.
“Don’t you feel sleepy?” Jun asks after a while.
“Not really. But I’m a bit tired.” Ken complains.
“Let’s sleep?” Jun asks, suggesting.
“Un, okay” Ken answers.
Jun accompanies Ken into his room and asks him to brush his teeth first before sleeping. He prepares Ken’s bed, as usual while Ken finishes his business in the washroom. After Jun tucks Ken under the blanket, he sits at the bedside, hand playing with Ken’s hair again, smoothing the locks. Ken was about to fall asleep when Jun remembers something important and he wakes the boy again by calling his name.
“Un?” Ken stares at Jun questioningly.
“Daddy has some work to finish tomorrow in the office. Do you want to come along?”
Ken doesn’t answer immediately. He looks at Jun hesitantly. “Is that okay? I don’t want to disturb Daddy working.” Ken asks for confirmation. He doesn’t want to disturb Jun while Jun is working but if he doesn’t come along, he will be alone at home.
“Of course, sweetheart. It’s weekend, not many people will be there. And I don’t want to leave you alone at home.” Jun answers convincingly.
“If that so, I will.” Ken confirms, yawning afterwards.
“Okay, sleep now. We need to wake up early tomorrow, okay?” Jun smooths Ken’s blanket neatly again.
“Okay, Daddy, good night. I love you.”
“Good night, baby. I love you too.” Jun kisses Ken for the last time before he switches off the lamp. Once he is confirmed Ken has fall asleep, he walks back to his own bedroom.
***
Sho went dinner at his parents’ place that night. His mother called asking him to go back home, Sho doesn’t have the heart to disobey her. It has been a week since his return but he never once step into the house again. He didn’t stay the night though, as it was too suffocating for him to be in the house. Memories of him and his sister and Jun swimming in his mind while they were eating. It kills him inside. He really was not ready for this yet. Sulking with his parents was one thing, but to live in the place where once was so lively but not now anymore, he just can’t.
He drives back to Aiba’s that night with a heavy feeling.
“You’re late. I thought you’re going to stay the night there?”
Sho just shakes his head weakly. He sits besides Aiba on the couch.
“Beer?”
Sho took the offered can with a soft thank you. He sips it slowly, savouring the bitter taste running down his throat. He put the can on the table and continues to sit there silently. Aiba seemed to understand his friend, as he also not saying a word. They watch the midnight news in silent before Aiba finally breaks the silent to excuse himself and return to his bedroom.
“Sho-chan,” he calls before walking away, “whenever you want to talk, I’m here, okay?”
After securing Sho’s answer which he gave a small nod, Aiba retreats to his room to call it a night.
***
Jun is still preparing their bentos when Ken finally comes to the kitchen.
“Good morning, sweetheart. Taken your shower?”
“Un!”
“Good boy. Sit there. Breakfast is ready. I’m packing the bentos.”
Ken sits on the chair as told. “Will we be long?” Ken asks while nibbling on the sandwich.
“I hope not. but I can’t promise.” Jun answers apologetically.
“Hmmm..” Ken pouts at Jun’s answer.
Jun walks to the table and put the food containers on it. “But I promise tomorrow you will have me for the whole day.” Jun replies convincingly, sitting on the chair next to Ken.
“Promise?” Ken shows his pinky finger which Jun linked with his.
“Promise.”
“Okay.” Satisfied with Jun’s answer they proceed to finish their breakfast before leaving.
Ken holds his water bottle while Jun locks the door. They walk hand in hand to the bus stop and wait there for a few minutes before the bus finally arrive. They take the sit near the exit.
“Daddy,” Ken calls.
“Hm?”
“Why don’t you want to buy a car?” Ken asks.
Jun doesn’t answer immediately. Ken doesn’t know about his past. Ken never asked and he never tell. But Ken’s question now connects directly to his past. The exact reason why he becomes an orphan. He doesn’t want to dwell, but he can’t forget it either. The past trauma, Sho. He sighs.
“I don’t have driving licence.” Jun finally spoke after minutes of silence.
“Why won’t you take one?” Ken keeps questioning. He wonders why. This is not the first time he wonders about that but he never has the courage to ask his Daddy. “You can afford it right?”
Indeed Jun can afford it. Not only the driving licence, he also affords to buy a car actually. But just the thought of him sitting in a car terrifies him. He had the car accident which killed both his parents when he was five, same age as Ken now. Since then he lived in the orphanage until he finished senior high school, he found a part time job and with the Sakurais’ help, he managed to rent his own apartment room during college days. It was also Sho who helped him overcome his trauma but now that Sho is no longer here, he never bothers to fight it again.
Another sigh leaves his lips. “I’m waiting for your Papa to drive me again.”
“Daddyy..” Ken whines.
Jun looks at Ken questioningly.
“You are not fair. Why you can see Papa but I can’t?” Ken pouts at his Daddy.
Jun smiles sweetly at the boy. He pulls Ken towards him and kisses his head. “We’ll see him together one day, ne?”
“Really?”
“Let’s pray together for that.”
Ken’s pout doesn’t disappear until they reach their stop. They walk to the buildings which mostly empty saves for few people who are like Jun, have work that need to be done before the deadline or people who like to work in the weekend just so they can work in peace without anyone bothering. Jun walks straight into his office while exchanging greetings with the people he knows on the way and after making sure Ken is comfortable in the room, Jun resumes his pending job until the afternoon.
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes:
300812 keep tempting me to write more but I'm starting to have doubts about posting this story. And SYARESA98 , itsumo arigatou. ^^Chapter 4
“Daddy!!” Ken runs towards Jun once he spotted him at the gate.
“Hello, my boy.” Jun greeted, kneeling down and pulls Ken into his hug. “How are you doing today?” Jun asks after he leaves his greeting kiss on Ken’s cheek.
“We learn how to fold paper crane!”
“Really? You can show it to daddy later. Let’s go home.” Jun grins happily at his son.
Jun bids Ken’s teacher goodbye before they walk home together.
“Jya.. Ken, what do you want for dinner?”
“Hmmm.. nothing in particular. Ah, Daddy, I want clam! And shellfish!” Ken says enthusiastically.
Jun stops walking. Clam and shellfish. Damn.
Jun resumes walking when Ken looks at him confusedly. “Clam and shellfish, okay. So, seafood spaghetti tonight? Would you like that?”
“Of course! Daddy’s cooking is the best!” Ken jumps around Jun excitedly while they both walk to the supermarket. However Jun can’t get rid the memory of a certain someone in his head. He wonders why is it that Sho invades his mind so frequently lately. Ken’s “Daddy’s cooking is the best!” reminds him of Sho’s “Your cooking is the best, Jun!” while the man devours the food like he hasn’t eaten for a week. The phrase keeps repeating in his head while he does the grocery shopping. He can’t help wondering a question to Sho in his mind, ‘Are you eating properly, Sho?’
***
“Daddy..”
“Hmm?”
“May I ask something?”
Jun is smoothing Ken’s hair while the boy is folding his paper crane on the low table. They’ve just had their dinner and now lazing around in the living room.
“Go ahead.”
“Do you miss Papa?”
Jun stops his movement and looks at Ken who is now staring at him curiously. “I do,” he answered, eyes holding on Ken’s firmly.
“Doesn’t Papa miss us?” Ken asked in low voice, eyes averting from Jun’s. He looks sad.
Jun resumes his little task before pulling Ken onto his lap. Ken doesn’t protest, instead, he leans on Jun’s chest comfortably. Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s hair. “Ken misses Papa?” he asked.
Ken nods weakly. “I don’t know if I should believe you say Papa still alive. I never met him even once.” Ken admits in small voice.
Jun closes his eyes listening to Ken’s broken voice saying that. He pulls Ken closer to his chest, drawing his arms around the small body. “Kento-kun,” he calls. Ken doesn’t react in his embrace. “Kento,” Jun calls for his attention again. Jun buries his face in Ken’s neck, tightening his embrace. “I’m sorry okay? Honestly even I don’t know if Papa is still alive or not.” Saying those words leaves a pang of guilt in his heart. Ken lives fatherless for 5 years and he never does anything to fix that. He knows how hard it was to live without parents, he lived it for years in the facility, all he had were the caretakers in the facility and Sho’s parents after he met him in his junior high. He knows he’s being unfair with Ken but he can’t bring himself to find another man to replace Sho no matter how long it will take for him to wait for Sho’s come back. He doesn’t know indeed, if Sho is actually still alive or not. He had never heard from him since he left, but he would like to hold on to the believes that Sho will come back. He insists that Sho will return to him again that’s why he is leaving that empty space in his heart until who knows when or at least until he is sure that he will never be able to meet Sho again. But before that time comes, he will never open his heart to anyone. That’s what he had sworn back then, and he intends to keep that promise still.
The problem now is Ken. What should he tell Ken? What should he do so that Ken would understand him? Ken is just a boy, no way he will understand these complicated things. Jun knows he is being selfish but hasn’t he always been like that?
Ken turns his head to look at Jun. Jun let go of his embrace so Ken can move freely. Ken stares in his eyes again. Ken has the facial of Sho. His face is the exact copy of Sho saved for his eyes. Only Ken’s eyes copying Jun. “Don’t you feel lonely?” Ken asks directly.
Jun was taken aback by the question and a bit confused.
“Why don’t you want to find Papa’s replacement? You never know if he will come back or not, right? Why would you wait so long for his return?” Ken asks confusedly.
“I don’t want to find replacement. I love him. I.. I..can’t..” Jun stutters.
“Why you can’t?” Ken asks again. His face is utterly confused. This time he turns around completely to look at Jun face to face.
“Because I love your Papa. I don’t want anyone else except him.” Jun tries to explain. He tucks Ken’s hair that falls on his face behind his ear.
“Even after Papa left you?”
Jun nods firmly without breaking the eye contact they had. He hated the way Ken was phrasing it. Sho didn’t leave him, he wanted to say, but the fact says just that.
“You won’t find anybody else even if I ask you to?”
Jun frowns. He doesn’t understand his son. What is it that he actually wants to know? He shakes his head nonetheless, answering Ken’s question guiltily.
“Good.” Ken states, “because I don’t want anybody else except my Papa too.”
Jun was dumbstruck with the answer. So Ken is also waiting for Sho? He can’t help tearing up at that thought. He draws Ken closer to his chest again and buries his face on Ken’s shoulder. He whispers a soft thank you while rubbing Ken’s back up and down.
Ken snakes his hands around Jun’s neck and hide his face there. “I love you, Daddy.” Ken whispers, resulting Jun to close his eyes and heave a relief sigh silently.
“I love you too my baby.” Jun whispers back. He rocks both of them back and forth, smiling contently. Ken giggles in his shoulders, and Jun felt soft kisses from a pair of lips in his neck. He can’t help but squirming, making Ken laughs. He is ticklish after all. Jun tempted to get revenge by tickling Ken’s side but refrained from doing so, instead, he pulls Ken away from his embrace and let him finish his abandoned paper crane.
“Don’t you feel sleepy?” Jun asks after a while.
“Not really. But I’m a bit tired.” Ken complains.
“Let’s sleep?” Jun asks, suggesting.
“Un, okay” Ken answers.
Jun accompanies Ken into his room and asks him to brush his teeth first before sleeping. He prepares Ken’s bed, as usual while Ken finishes his business in the washroom. After Jun tucks Ken under the blanket, he sits at the bedside, hand playing with Ken’s hair again, smoothing the locks. Ken was about to fall asleep when Jun remembers something important and he wakes the boy again by calling his name.
“Un?” Ken stares at Jun questioningly.
“Daddy has some work to finish tomorrow in the office. Do you want to come along?”
Ken doesn’t answer immediately. He looks at Jun hesitantly. “Is that okay? I don’t want to disturb Daddy working.” Ken asks for confirmation. He doesn’t want to disturb Jun while Jun is working but if he doesn’t come along, he will be alone at home.
“Of course, sweetheart. It’s weekend, not many people will be there. And I don’t want to leave you alone at home.” Jun answers convincingly.
“If that so, I will.” Ken confirms, yawning afterwards.
“Okay, sleep now. We need to wake up early tomorrow, okay?” Jun smooths Ken’s blanket neatly again.
“Okay, Daddy, good night. I love you.”
“Good night, baby. I love you too.” Jun kisses Ken for the last time before he switches off the lamp. Once he is confirmed Ken has fall asleep, he walks back to his own bedroom.
***
Sho went dinner at his parents’ place that night. His mother called asking him to go back home, Sho doesn’t have the heart to disobey her. It has been a week since his return but he never once step into the house again. He didn’t stay the night though, as it was too suffocating for him to be in the house. Memories of him and his sister and Jun swimming in his mind while they were eating. It kills him inside. He really was not ready for this yet. Sulking with his parents was one thing, but to live in the place where once was so lively but not now anymore, he just can’t.
He drives back to Aiba’s that night with a heavy feeling.
“You’re late. I thought you’re going to stay the night there?”
Sho just shakes his head weakly. He sits besides Aiba on the couch.
“Beer?”
Sho took the offered can with a soft thank you. He sips it slowly, savouring the bitter taste running down his throat. He put the can on the table and continues to sit there silently. Aiba seemed to understand his friend, as he also not saying a word. They watch the midnight news in silent before Aiba finally breaks the silent to excuse himself and return to his bedroom.
“Sho-chan,” he calls before walking away, “whenever you want to talk, I’m here, okay?”
After securing Sho’s answer which he gave a small nod, Aiba retreats to his room to call it a night.
***
Jun is still preparing their bentos when Ken finally comes to the kitchen.
“Good morning, sweetheart. Taken your shower?”
“Un!”
“Good boy. Sit there. Breakfast is ready. I’m packing the bentos.”
Ken sits on the chair as told. “Will we be long?” Ken asks while nibbling on the sandwich.
“I hope not. but I can’t promise.” Jun answers apologetically.
“Hmmm..” Ken pouts at Jun’s answer.
Jun walks to the table and put the food containers on it. “But I promise tomorrow you will have me for the whole day.” Jun replies convincingly, sitting on the chair next to Ken.
“Promise?” Ken shows his pinky finger which Jun linked with his.
“Promise.”
“Okay.” Satisfied with Jun’s answer they proceed to finish their breakfast before leaving.
Ken holds his water bottle while Jun locks the door. They walk hand in hand to the bus stop and wait there for a few minutes before the bus finally arrive. They take the sit near the exit.
“Daddy,” Ken calls.
“Hm?”
“Why don’t you want to buy a car?” Ken asks.
Jun doesn’t answer immediately. Ken doesn’t know about his past. Ken never asked and he never tell. But Ken’s question now connects directly to his past. The exact reason why he becomes an orphan. He doesn’t want to dwell, but he can’t forget it either. The past trauma, Sho. He sighs.
“I don’t have driving licence.” Jun finally spoke after minutes of silence.
“Why won’t you take one?” Ken keeps questioning. He wonders why. This is not the first time he wonders about that but he never has the courage to ask his Daddy. “You can afford it right?”
Indeed Jun can afford it. Not only the driving licence, he also affords to buy a car actually. But just the thought of him sitting in a car terrifies him. He had the car accident which killed both his parents when he was five, same age as Ken now. Since then he lived in the orphanage until he finished senior high school, he found a part time job and with the Sakurais’ help, he managed to rent his own apartment room during college days. It was also Sho who helped him overcome his trauma but now that Sho is no longer here, he never bothers to fight it again.
Another sigh leaves his lips. “I’m waiting for your Papa to drive me again.”
“Daddyy..” Ken whines.
Jun looks at Ken questioningly.
“You are not fair. Why you can see Papa but I can’t?” Ken pouts at his Daddy.
Jun smiles sweetly at the boy. He pulls Ken towards him and kisses his head. “We’ll see him together one day, ne?”
“Really?”
“Let’s pray together for that.”
Ken’s pout doesn’t disappear until they reach their stop. They walk to the buildings which mostly empty saves for few people who are like Jun, have work that need to be done before the deadline or people who like to work in the weekend just so they can work in peace without anyone bothering. Jun walks straight into his office while exchanging greetings with the people he knows on the way and after making sure Ken is comfortable in the room, Jun resumes his pending job until the afternoon.
