shozi_sakurai

***

It’s raining heavily outside, the thunders blowing, shaking the entire house. Jun lies on the bed, even curling up under the thick sheet still cannot protect him from the coldness. His feet are cold as ice, he rubs them from time to time to warm them up as well as his palms. It’s difficult to sleep in this condition even though he is tired and sleepy. But the coldness just not going away, waking up his every senses. The chills are giving him goosebumps, he just wish that someone will come and embrace the coldness away, so he can sleep in peace. He was about to drift off when he suddenly feels the mattress dip, someone was sitting beside him.

##

Sho opens the door to their room, the sound of the rain muffles the sound of the lock clicking. He looks at the empty bed, frowning. Then he sees small movement from the footbed and smiles to himself, shaking his head in affection. He walks towards the bed and sit next to where Jun’s head supposed to be, staring at the white sheet. He knows Jun is under it, but he doesn’t want to disturb him if he is already sleeping. Unable to stop himself, he lifts the corner of the sheet, a mob of black hair blocking his view of Jun’s face.

“Ui,”

If Jun is groaning, surely the loud rain outside doing a good job in silencing the sound. Sho slips under the blanket too, which Jun immediately latch to him, seeking for Sho’s warmth to warm his cold skin.

Sho winced upon touching Jun’s ice-cold skin but doesn’t back away. He pulls Jun closer, Jun’s hands and feet are cold, but his neck is warm. Sho moves to touch Jun’s face, it’s not as cold as his hands and feet. Even his body beneath his t-shirt is warm.

“You’re so cold.” Sho states.

“I’m cold.” Jun confirms. “Where were you? What took you so long?” Jun fires his questions, tone complaining.

“Finishing the movie. You said you wanted to sleep first.”

“Hmm..” Jun rubs his face against Sho’s warm chest, prompting the latter to cup his head, nuzzling his hair affectionately. “I want to sleep, but it’s too cold. It’s uncomfortable.”

“Poor my boy, you must be waiting for me, were not you?”

“I was. You were late.” Jun answers sleepily. His eyes are already shut, the warmth he has been waiting is now embracing him gently, making the sleepiness in him coming in strong wave, barely he can hold his consciousness. He feels a kiss at his hair, then the body holding him shifts to a better position before the person whispers a soft “sleep” in his ear, making him surrender to the dreamland completely.

***

Current Location: in office
Current Music: Arashi - Daylight

Chapter 8

Sho nearly forgot about his father’s invitation for the dinner. He saw the message again when he wants to text Aiba to take his car at the parking lot near the restaurant. He excused himself for the afternoon and goes back to his – Aiba’s (he really needs to move out fast so he won’t trouble his friend anymore) – apartment, and calm his nerves for the rest of the day.

He met Jun –Jun and his son which he doubted is his son – and he can’t stop thinking about them now. He told his father that he won’t make it tonight as he has some urgent matters and postpone it to the next day. Glad that his father is okay.

When Aiba got back from work, he is surprised to see Sho’s bandaged head and immediately asks what happened. Sho tells him that he got in an accident trying to save a boy (his boy, Sho keeps repeating it in his head) and that he hit his head on the road. Nothing serious he tells Aiba but that guy got seriously worried anyway and asks him to take a leave tomorrow. Sho dismissed Aiba’s worry and said that he is fine, nothing so serious, but he doesn’t tell Aiba about Jun nor Kento. He would rather keep that to himself first until he gets to properly talk to Jun again. He promised Jun that he will find him again but he doesn’t know how to.

“Aiba-chan,”

“What’s wrong?” Aiba looks at his friend worriedly. They are having dinner, Aiba orders take out as he is not in mood to cook that night.

“I need your help.” Sho answers vaguely.

“Hmm? What is it?”

“I want to move out.”

“Oh? You got a place already?”

“Un. Already confirm everything with my agent. I’ll get the key by next month the latest. So..”

“Okay, I got it. I’ll help you. I think your stuffs are not that much in that room.”

Sho just scratch his head looking sheepish.

Aiba rolls his eyes at his friend’s silly grin.

***

Sho knocks the door to his father’s office.

“Come in.”

Sho enters and walks towards the desk.

“You are.. What happened to your head?!” Sakurai-san stops his sentence midway, shock to see Sho’s bandaged head.

Sho clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Nothing. Don’t shout.” He grumbles.

“You had an accident? That’s your urgent matter yesterday?” His father keeps asking.

“Nothing serious, father. So? I’ve finalize this. Think should be okay to proceed. You want me to start meeting with Ohno-san after this?” Sho asks directly, straight forward to his intention of coming to his father’s office.

“Yes. I wanted to ask you that. You’re fast to finish finalizing the file.” Sakurai-san looks at his son blankly. He gestures Sho to sit on the chair in front of him. “You really okay? That looks awful.” He comments.

“I’m fine, really. Just a little scratch. Thank you for being concern anyway.”

This time it’s his father’s turn to click his tongue. “Don’t take me lightly, will you? Little scratch doesn’t need your whole head to be bandaged like that. If you don’t feel fine just go home and rest. Don’t push yourself too much.” He instructs.

Sho smiles listening to his father’s rant. “I will, don’t worry. But I really feel fine now. So it’s okay. You know, it’s weird to have you fuss over me now when you should have done that when I was younger.” Sho comments relentlessly.

His father just smiles awkwardly. It really is weird but he chooses to not say anything. “So? Will you come tonight? I bet your Mom will be shock and furious too if she sees you like this. And straight away asks you to come home again.”

Sho scratches his head thinking. “Hmm.. I’ll see how.” He can’t give his answer right away. His father is right, his Mom will be worried sick if she sees him like this.

“Are you busy?”

Sho looks at his father, confused with the sudden question. “Not really.”

“I have something important to talk with you. That’s why I asked you to come for dinner. But actually the dinner is unnecessary if you have some time to spend and talk?”

Sho sits straighter on the chair listening intently to his father.

“It’s about Jun.” His father continues.

Sho’s heart pounding loudly in his chest. “What about him?”

“I met him yesterday. And last Saturday.”

Sho frowns. He doesn’t expect that. “Did you see him regularly?” He asks.

“No. A complete coincidence when I was having the meeting with Ohno-san last Saturday. He works there. One of Ohno’s architect.” His father explains.

Sho raises an eyebrow at that. Jun works with Ohno. His father asked him to take over the project with the Ohno group. Concidence or planned? He didn’t voice out the questions though.

“I didn’t know he works there if that’s what you’re wondering about now. It’s a complete coincidence. When I asked you to take over the project, I didn’t know about him working there at all. And, the architect working in this project is not him.” His father continues. “I see his picture on your desk.” he paused and looks straight into Sho’s eyes who is also staring at him. “Do you still love him?”

Sho snorts unintendedly. He averts his gaze to the side. “You think?”

“I talked to him yesterday.” Sakurai-san pulls out a card from his drawer and pushes it to Sho. “I manage to ask for his contact number. I promised him I’ll keep in touch. Don’t you want to?” he asks softly, eyes warm looking at his son in front of him.

Sho blinks before taking the card on the desk.

“Talk to him Sho. I know what happened between you two was my fault. Apologies will not bring anything to the both of you. I believe he has a lot to tell you and same goes to you. Text him, call him. See him. Tell him you got his contact number from me. He knew. He knew I want you two to talk to each other again. Find him again, Sho.” And, “I’m sorry.” The last sentence he said it in whisper. He sincerely wants to apologize to the both of them and he hopes that that is enough for them two to forgive him. He doesn’t feeling too hopeful though.

Sho keeps quiet even after his father finish talking. He doesn’t know. He is confused. Suddenly all things come out to him so easily. He doesn’t know how to make that up to. He takes the card and keeps it in his wallet. Then he stands, and bows deeply to his father. “Thank you.” He says it in full sincerities. His voice cracks, but he manages to cover it.

Sakurai-san stands and walks to Sho. He hugs him. “Thank you.”

Sho wraps his arms around his father’s shoulders and bites his lips to prevent himself from crying. He is not a baby, damn it! But being hug by his own father feels so comforting. He has forgotten the feeling of affection given by his parents. And today he gets that back.

Sakurai-san rubs Sho’s back soothingly, trying to comfort his trembling son. He knew how much Sho loves Jun and he still did what he did five years ago. He can’t amend what’s done but he hopes the two of them will find each other again. He has done his part, now it’s their turn to do the next. Sakurai-san hopes for the best for the two young men.

Sho pulls away after a minute. He excuses himself to return to his office. “I’ll come by tonight.” He confirms, and the smile his father shows him makes him feel so much at ease. It feels like a rock has been lifted from his back, and he is much more relax now. He will do this right. ‘Wait for me, Jun. I’m returning to you.’ With those thought in mind, he returns to his office, a bright smile decorating his face and some staffs already murmuring about his good mood that day.

***

“Daddy..”

“Yes, baby?”

Ken walks to Jun and climbs on his lap. “I’m cold.” Ken snuggles to Jun’s chest, snaking his arms around Jun’s middle.

Jun hugs the boy on his lap, palm brushing over his head and forehead, and he frowns. “You are warm.” He stated. “How are you feeling?” he finds himself asking even though Ken just told him that he is cold.

“Cold.” Ken said to his chest.

Ken is wearing his jacket so it’s weird that he said he is cold. But his face is indeed warm. Jun glances at the clock across the room. He has another hour before he can end his working hour. He took half-day also today. He didn’t send Ken to the nursery today, not so fast after the shock Ken had yesterday. And he plans to keep Ken company today too that’s why he took a half-day working today. He brought Ken to the office because he can’t let Ken be on his own at home. But apparently Ken is running a cold.

“Just a little bit more. Patient ne, dear?” Jun said to his son. He caresses Ken’s back softly.

“Un.”

Jun feels Ken shivers in his hold. He takes off his jacket and wraps it around his son. He adjusts his position on the chair so he can cradle Ken more comfortably on his seat. Ken leans deeper to Jun’s chest before letting out a sigh. Jun can’t concentrate on his job. He is worry about Ken’s condition right now but he tries to finish what he can.

By the time he finished, Ken is already sleeping soundly on his lap. He moves slowly, trying not to disturb his sleeping son when he puts Ken on the couch, lying him there. Jun switches off his laptop, keep it in his bag and is about to wake Ken up when his phone vibrates with a message.

-Hi Jun. This is Sho. Father gave me your number. Are you free right now? Think we can have lunch together?-

Jun’s hand trembles slightly upon reading the message. ‘Why so fast Sho-kun?’ he frowns in annoyance.

-Sorry, I can’t today. Ken is not feeling well. We are going back home.-

Not a minute after he sends the message, his phone vibrates with a call.

“Yes?” Jun answers, a bit annoyed.

“Hi. Are you in the office?”

“Un. We are going back now. Sorry Sho I really can’t now.”

“Where are you going? To the clinic or home? Do you need a ride? I’m near your office building now.”

Of course Sakurai-san needs to tell Sho where Jun is working. He declines anyway.

“It’s okay, I can take the cab.”

Just after he said that, Ken whines in his sleep. He jerks up awake with a cough.

“Sweetheart?” Jun rubs Ken’s back soothingly.

“Jun?”

Jun returns to talk in his phone. “Sorry Sho,”

“I’m at the entrance door already. See me at the lobby.” Sho cuts in before Jun even get chance to speak.

“Eh?”

“I’ll wait here. Just come down.”

Another cough breaks from Ken and he starts sneezing. “Daddy..” Ken whines pitifully. He is on the verge of tears because he has started to feel very uncomfortable.

“See you downstairs.” Jun says before ending the call. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go back home.” Jun picks Ken up and carries him to the elevator and pushes the ground floor button. He sees Sho straightaway as the man is standing right in front of the elevator Jun rides.

“Hey,” Sho greets, hand coming up to touch Ken’s tear-stricken face. He winces at the heat radiated to his palm. He takes Jun’s bag and show him the way to his car. He puts Jun’s bag in the trunk and gets to the driver seat. Jun is already sitting at the passenger seat with Ken. “We’ll go to the hospital first. I’m afraid if Kento gets infection because of yesterday.”

“But Ken didn’t injure himself yesterday.” Jun protests.

“Jun.”

Jun shrinks at this seat and hugs Ken tighter. “Okay.” He relents.

Sho drives away to the hospital immediately.

***

Current Location: in office
Current Music: NEWS - KINGDOM

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes: Hi there! I'm back with this series again. Hope you will continue to enjoy this story. =D

Chapter 7

Sho has just finished his lunch and was walking towards his car when he receives the message from his father asking him to have dinner at home tonight. He said that he has a very important matter to talk to him but didn’t mention it in the message. Sho frowns. ‘What so important?’ he questions doubtfully. He hesitates to give his answer but thinking that it won’t hurt to accept a dinner’s offer. He is about to write the reply when suddenly he hears voices screaming in panic. He looks towards the direction of the voices and saw a boy standing in the middle of the road and a car coming straight into his direction, honking desperately to the boy alarming him to move aside! Sho moves in automation, his blood rush with adrenaline, he runs towards the boy, grabbing him harshly and rolls to the side of the road, protecting the boy in his arms and chest. The driver steers his car to the side avoiding them two, resulting him crashing to the metal divider and stops just there. Sho hisses in pain when his head hits the road. For a moment he sees black but he manages to focus back to his senses. He sees the car at the other side of the road before he turns his focus to the boy in his arms.

“Boy?” Sho feels the small body in his arms trembling slightly, the boy’s arms clutching at his chest desperately.

“Hey, are you guys okay?” Sho hears a voice asking and he looks up. Sho sees the driver limping towards them with a bloody temple. Sho manages a weak nod before focusing to the boy again.

People has started gathering around them making a crowd and asking for their condition. He hears a scream of ‘ambulance’ but pay no attention to those. He is more worry about the boy in his hold.

“Boy?” Sho calls again trying to get the boy’s attention.

“..’ddy..”

“Hmm?”

“Daddy..” the boy stutters before crying, the hands on Sho’s chest is fisting the cloth stronger and the boy’s breathings are coming out in short gasps, Sho knows that the boy is panicking.

“Shh.. shh.. It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay. We’ll go to the hospital first, okay?” Sho rubs the boy’s back up and down trying to soothe his nerves. And then somebody shouts telling them that the ambulance has arrived but when Sho moves to stand up, the boy tightens his grip around him. Sho sits down again. “It’s okay my dear, I’ll go with you,” he soothes. Sho doesn’t let go of the boy. He carries him to the ambulance and hops into it. He sits there holding the boy in his laps during the entire ride, caressing the boy’s hair and back softly while whispering comforting words in the boy’s ear. The trembles has subsided, but he is still hiccupping silently in Sho’s chest. All the time he doesn’t let go of his grip on Sho’s form.

***

They were brought into the treatment room immediately. The doctor confirms that the boy has no serious injuries saves for some scratches on his arms and legs so the doctor leaves the boy to the nurses on duty for his treatment. Meanwhile Sho was asked to do the CT scan since he hit his head on the road. Once the doctor confirms that there’s nothing to be worried about, they were both discharged immediately two hours later.

They sit together in the lobby, waiting for the boy’s guardian to pick the boy up. The boy seems to have tell the nurse his details and emergency contact after he is done with his treatment and they are just waiting there until the boy’s dad – not a father, Sho noticed – come to take his son home. Though the boy looks fine overall, sitting close to him Sho can see that he is still slightly trembling. And he never once lifts his head to see anything in front of him. Sho guesses that he is still traumatized with what he had just experienced.

“Hey,” Sho calls softly. He sees the boy a bit startle at being addressed. “What’s your name?” he asks.

The boy doesn’t answer immediately, he fidgets in his seat, before murmuring “Ken” without looking up, hands playing with the loose thread on his sleeve.

“Ken-kun?”

“Kento.”

“Kento-kun?”

The boy nods.

Sho spreads out his palm and show it to Kento. “I’m Sho.”

Kento finally looks up and look at Sho. Sho gasp unintentionally upon seeing Kento’s face. He feels like he looking into a mirror, where the reflection shows the younger image of him with different eyes. And those eyes, two deep pools of warmth and gentleness, the eyes he would recognize anywhere.

Jun.

Sho finds himself in a trance, unable to move or even avert his eyes from Ken’s face. He doesn’t even react when Kento calls his name.

“Your name?” Sho finds himself asking the question again. Somehow he feels detach from the present.

Kento blinks, confuse. “Kento. Matsumoto Kento.” This time Kento gives his full name.

“Matsumoto Jun?” Sho asks, more to himself actually but Kento still hears it.

Kento frowns before nodding hesitantly. “Nii-san knows my Daddy?” Kento asks. He is no longer shaking, instead, posture stiff, curious with the man beside him now.

“I did. Still do.” The last sentence was spoken in whisper.

Kento is about to speak again but a panic voice interrupts, calling out to him.

Kento turns his head automatically to the voice and sees Jun. “Daddy. Daddy!!” Kento shouts back, jumping from his sit and runs towards Jun.

Jun turns his head towards Ken’s voice and sees him jumping from the chair and running to him. He catches him in his arms, hugging him tightly, feeling so relief and grateful to see his boy so safe and sound.

“You okay?” Jun asks after a few moments, loosening his hug to look properly at Ken.

“I’m okay. Sho-niisan saved me.”

“Sho-niisan?”

“Un! Sho-niisan knows Daddy!” Ken tells excitedly.

Jun stares at Ken in disbelieve. He hears his heartbeat thumping furiously, so loud that he suspects even Ken can hear it. “Where is he?” he asks in equal disbelieve.

“Over there.”

Ken points to the seat where Sho is sitting so stiffly watching the two of them conversing. Sho is battling with himself either he should or should not walk to them. He has been looking for Jun, but not sure if this is the kind of situation he would like to see Jun again. ‘What?’

He sees Jun stands up and walk to him with Ken in tow. Jun is frowning but he can’t exactly tell why. What Jun is thinking right now seeing him there. He stands up when Jun is close enough and bows to him.

“Thank you.” The words come out sound a bit force, but Sho bows nonetheless. Both of them are too shock to react properly with the unexpected meeting and both fall silent afterward. The atmosphere is too awkward and tense that Ken too is too confuse with what is happening between the two adults.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Sho finally speaks, but not lifting his head to look at Jun. Both of them are not looking to each other. “Jun.”

“Same here.” Jun’s voice sounds hoarse. He clears his throat before saying the next word. “Sho.”

Jun grabs Ken’s fist tighter. It’s too much for today. He just went lunch with Sho’s father and talk about him and here he is now, standing right before the said man. How should he react to that?!

“Thank you for saving Ken. We will leave now.” Jun said in hurry before turning around to leave but before he even managed to take the first step, Sho grabs his hand.

Jun turns to look at Sho.

“We’ll see each other again.” Sho said in determination. “I’ll find you again.” He firms, squeezing Jun’s hand.

Jun nods and Sho lets go of Jun’s hand after that. Jun turns and walks again, this time without turning back. ‘We will see each other again. Once we find each other again.’ With that thought in mind, Jun leaves the building with Ken and hails a cab. Ken doesn’t speak a word until they are safe in the cab.

***

“Daddy? Who is that onii-san?”

Jun doesn’t answer immediately. He keeps caressing Ken’s head softly, pulling the boy a bit closer to him in the taxi.

“Someone.”

Ken stares at Jun expressionless. Jun can’t make up Ken’s expression, Ken just look at him with his big, expressive eyes but currently, those eyes are not telling Jun anything that’s in his mind. Jun blinks.

“Have you eaten?” he changes the subject.

Ken shakes his head and leans deeper to Jun’s side, hiding.

Jun hugs the boy and kisses his head, enjoying the warmth of Ken’s body in his arm. “What do you want eat?”

“Daddy’s cooking.”

“Okay. Let’s go straight home.”

Ken doesn’t let go of Jun’s hands since in the taxi. When they get into the house, Jun sits Ken on the couch in the leaving room, he takes Ken’s school bag and put it aside. “You okay?” Jun finally asks. Ken was nearly hit by car, for sure he is still in shock somehow.

Ken nods answering Jun’s question.

“Change your clothes and try to get some sleep? I’ll cook something. Or do you want to eat first?”

Ken shakes his head but suddenly wraps his arms around Jun. He buries his face in Jun’s stomach.

Jun feels the slight tremble in Ken’s body and pulls him closer to him. He makes Ken sits on his lap, face hidden in his chest. He holds Ken close, rubbing his back up and down trying to soothe his son. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Ken. I’m here.” Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s head, not once stops caressing his back.

“Don’t leave me, Daddy.” Ken pleads in small voice.

“I will not, sweetheart. I’m here, see?” Jun soothe, already feeling the wetness seeping through his shirt. “I’m here.” He kisses Ken again, this time longer, and tightens his hold around Ken. “Let’s take a short shower, ne? You’re still in shock. Warm water will help you to calm down.” Jun persuades slowly.

They sit there hugging for a little while longer until Ken moves, pulling himself away from Jun. Jun brings Ken to his room and undresses him. He takes Ken to the bathroom and bathes him. His movements are gentle, all the while saying soft soothing words to Ken and help him to calm down from his shock. Jun dresses Ken with new, fresh clothes and brings the boy to the kitchen afterwards, making him a cup of warm tea and let Ken drinks. Then he cooks with Ken sitting silently in the kitchen, watching him prepare the meals.

“Daddy..”

“Hmm?”

“Daddy don’t have work this afternoon?”

Jun glances at Ken before answering with a smile, “No. I leave immediately after I got the call from hospital. Told Ohno-san I take emergency leave for the afternoon. ”

“I’m sorry.”

Jun looks at Ken who is staring down at his lap. “Why are you sorry?”

“I troubled you.”

Jun stops stirring the soup in the pot and walks towards Ken. He sits on the chair beside his son and pulls Ken to face him. He touches Ken’s cheek. “Kento,” he starts softly, “remember this. You never ever trouble Daddy. You are my one and only precious treasure I have and I’m not trading you with anything. Anything, you hear me? If you are in trouble, then I am in trouble too. Because you are too precious for me to take anything lightly about you, do you know that?” he stares deep into Ken’s eyes, searching for his understanding. “I will go to the end of the world just to keep you safe, understand?” Jun lifts his other hand to cup Ken’s cheek. “Understand?” He asks again when Ken doesn’t give the answer.

“Un.” Ken answer and nods.

Jun presents him with a smile before pulling him to his body again. He kisses Ken softly. “Don’t worry or feel scared because I’m here, okay? I’ll always be here with you.” Jun promises.

“Okay.” Ken whispers in the hug and wraps his arms around Jun. He is still in shock and scared with the accident just now. It will take a while for him recover again.

Jun rubs his palm once at Ken’s back before pulling away. “I’m finishing the soup. Wait here a little while more, okay?”

“Un!” Ken answers and smiles happily. He rubs his eyes, erasing the remnants of tears on his cheek and looks brightly at Jun.

Jun chuckles and leans forward to kiss both of Ken’s cheek before getting up and finish his abandoned soup on the stove.

***

Current Location: in office
Current Music: NEWS - KINGDOM

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes: I'm working for some flashbacks but who knows when will that be put into use because I'm getting lazy, lazier, laziest everyday. ><

Chapter 6

Jun closes the door to his office and click on the lock automatically. He was still shocked and startled to see his supposed to be father-in-law in the building, after years of silence, suddenly to see him face to face under this condition is too much for him to take. His hands are still trembling, and he nearly collapse to the floor with the amount of nerves wrecking his mind and body.

“Daddy?” Ken shakes Jun lightly to get his attention. “Daddy, are you okay?” he asked. He is scared looking at his daddy like that. Jun is frightened, Ken can sense it, but frightened to what, he does not know. And that scares him to not knowing what troubles his Daddy. “Daddy!?” he shakes again.

Jun leans on the door and slides down, sitting on the floor. He doesn’t look up to Ken, but blindly takes Ken’s hand that’s holding his and pull him onto him, making the boy falls abruptly on his chest. Jun circles his arms around Ken’s small form, gradually tightening his grip.

“Daddy?” Ken’s voice is muffled by his shirt, but Jun is not letting him go at all.

“A minute.”

They sit silently there, Jun is holding Ken close to his chest, feeling Ken’s solid form on top of him and reassures himself that Ken is there, safe and sound and with him. Jun doesn’t know what got into him but seeing Sakurai-san holding his son triggers something in Jun’s heart. What exactly that he was scared about he doesn’t know, but he has that feeling that he can’t let just anyone touch his son. Not at any cost! ‘What was that for?!’ Jun doesn’t realize his hold around Ken becomes tighter until Ken speaks up.

“Daddy?” Ken circles his arms around Jun’s torso. “I’m here.” He reassures. He can hear Jun’s frantic heartbeat and Jun’s arms around him is like a punishing grip. He knows that Jun is not really there with him. Whatever happened to his Daddy after their small encounter with the uncles just now Ken doesn’t understand, but he knows when Jun is in deep worry. And he doesn’t want Jun to be worry. Because he is there. He is there with his Daddy. They are together so there’s nothing to be scared of.

Jun on the other hand, listening to Ken’s words of “I’m here,” something knocks on his heart. Something clicks in his brain when he finally realizes what he was scared about. So that’s it? He is worry about that? Is he being stupid? Is his fears have basis? Ken is his son there’s no way he will let anyone take Ken from him. Not Sakurai-san, not even Sho himself! He will never allow that! There’s no way he would let anyone separate him from his son. If with Sakurai-san appearance now will bring Sho back... he doesn’t exactly sure what to do in he faces Sho in that moment.

“Ken,” Jun finally speaks. “Never leave me, okay?” he lets go of his hold and cups Ken’s face, staring deep into Ken’s eyes.

“Promise.” Ken shows his pinky finger to Jun which Jun takes his whole fist in his arms and brings Ken’s hands to his lips.

“Thank you.” He whispers on Ken’s temple before kissing him softly.

***

Sho finishes his meeting with the housing agent early and doesn’t know why he found himself standing alone in a park. He sees families having picnic under the trees, kids running around with their friends and siblings playing tag games and also people walking their dogs and play catch with them. He feels relax by watching the scenery in front of him and takes a sit on a bench, quite far from the other visitors. He plays with his phone, reading the news and scrolling the social medias, simply wasting time on his own at the park. He tries to find information about Jun in the medias, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter but it seems like Jun is not the kind who mingles in those too much. After some times he gives up and takes his leave.

He drives off absentmindedly, but again he found himself in an unexpected place – the facility Jun grows up after his parents’ death. He looks around, without greeting anyone, looking at the kids leaving there, reminding them of Jun from before. Teenage Jun, skinny and shy type, fierce on the appearance but very fragile at heart. He remembers the day when he finally decided to talk to Jun, Jun looks so tired and defeated, like he has had enough in his life. Guess where were they at that time? – the school roof. He doesn’t exactly sure what Jun intended to do at that time, but he was standing on the divider, leaning heavily on the fence, looking at the ground expressionless. Sho who was always takes his break on the rooftop – his favourite spot to read and have his lunch – saw him, and immediately pulled him off the fence.

“What the hell were you doing?!” he shouted directly at Jun’s face.

Jun glanced at Sho but not answering him. He averted his gaze from Sho’s face and turned to walk away. But Sho, being hot-headed as he always had pulled Jun’s hands and effectively stopped Jun in his track.

“Hey, I’m asking you!”

“Why do you care?” Jun asked back, more like mumbling to himself.

Sho pulls Jun’s hand with a force making Jun turns to him again. Jun was still looking down, not even once lifted his head to show that he was angry or anything. Sho cups Jun’s face with both his palms, lifting his head, finally able to see Jun’s face properly. He nearly flinched looking at Jun’s lifeless eyes, he could see the dread, sadness, defeat, those eyes doesn’t have life in it and he wonders what happened. Black circles around the brown orbs and his face was so skinny Sho can feels every edges on the face.

“Your name?” Sho asked, voice soft.

“Jun.”

“Jun?” Sho called softly. Jun still doesn’t look into Sho’s eyes. “What happened?” his anger flew away when the question left his lips, sudden worry seeped into his heart. “What happened to you? What’s wrong? Were you bullied?” he kept asking, worry evident in every question.

Jun shook his head slowly, still not answering Sho’s question. Then however he found his face mashed on a fabric, a pair of strong hands holding him firm against a solid form, palms rubbing at his back up and down in gentle moves, soothing him in a way he longs it to be. His brain couldn’t process it, it tells him to push away the man hugging him that time but his body protested to do so. He couldn’t find the strength to push the man away, instead, he leans deeper onto the chest, surrenders to the comfort the other man offered. His mind tells him that he would regret this later but his heart said the opposite, too tired to fight anything and Jun thinks that if something going to happened to him that day, he wouldn’t even put up a fight.

Jun jerks upright, rousing from his sleep with hands on his chest. ‘What the hell was that?!’ his mind screamed at him. It’s the first time he dreams of his first day meeting with Sho. Jun pants heavily, trying to come down from the dreams with taking deep breaths. He notices his hands are shaking – his whole body is – and he is crying. He tries to wipe the tears off his face but more are coming that he sobs, sitting upright on the bed and surrenders to the tremors in his heart. He manages to calm down after sometime and lies on the bed again, trying to get rid of the dreams off his mind.

“S-Sho..” he has stop crying but still hiccupping, still trying to calm his racing heart. Jun lies on his side, hand clutching tightly to the necklace around his neck. “Help me..” he pleads in the dark.

***

“Jya, Ken. See you this afternoon, okay?”

“Un. Daddy?”

“Hai?”

“You okay? Why Daddy look so tired?”

Jun stares at Ken’s eyes deeply. He smiles nonetheless. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. Didn’t get good sleep last night.”

“Why so?”

Jun doesn’t answer instead pulls Ken into a hug while smiling affectionately. “Nothing, my dear. Be good at school today too, okay?”

“Okay.” Ken answers with a little pout before walking into the school compound. He turns to wave Jun goodbye and walks into the nursery once he sees his Daddy has walk away from the school ground.

“Sakurai Sho!”

Sho jerks, surprised at the sudden intrusion in his office. “What the hell Aiba-chan?!” he asks, annoyed. Dare his secretary to call him like that!

Unfortunately Aiba-chan just laughs, not caring about his scowling boss in front of him.

“Your father asked me to pass this to you.” He puts the file in front of Sho.

“And he can’t deliver it to me by himself?” Sho takes the file, inspecting the content.

“He said he got stuff to do. He was hurrying outside. Oh! And, he invited you for dinner tonight.”

“Where?” Sho frowns.

Aiba tilts his head in question. “He didn’t mention it. Maybe you can ask him later?”

Sho sighs.

“Bye.” Aiba stands to leave the room.

“Thanks, Aiba!” Sho half shout to his secretary. He heard the reply of “No prob!” before the door closes completely.

Sho puts the file aside, thinking he will take a look later once he finished his current task at hand.

***

Jun just steps out of the building when a voice greeted him.

“Matsumoto-kun?”

Jun stops his track and turn around just to see Sakurai-san standing a few feet away from him.

Jun blinks a few times before he finds his composure again. “Sakurai-san, good afternoon.” He bows his head politely.

“Good afternoon. Out for lunch?”

Jun nods.

“Mind if I join you?”

Jun is torn between shaking and nodding. It would be impolite if he rejects the older man. No matter what had happen between them in the past, Jun still respects him.

“No, I won’t. I would like some company too.”

The smile Sakurai-san shows him is still the same from when Sho first introduces Jun to him. Heart-warming and a very welcoming smile.

They have their lunch at the nearby restaurant. Quite packed with other people since it’s lunch hour, nothing less expected.

“How have you been, Jun-kun?”

“Good. As you see.”

“I’m sorry for being invisible these past years.” Sakurai-san apologizes.

Jun shakes his head. “It’s not your fault. I was being silent too.”

“You have a son.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Jun stops his movement from scooping the rice into his spoon.

“Tell me honestly, Jun. He is Sho’s right?” Sakurai-san stares right into Jun’s eyes.

Jun stops eating completely. Sakurai-san does the same.

“Why are you asking me this suddenly? We met two days ago accidentally and now you’re barging to my company’s building and suddenly speaks about this. I don’t mean to be rude Sakurai-san, but what will you get by suddenly appearing before my eyes and ask about my son? By the way yes, Kento is your grandchild by blood but if you think you can ask for any rights as Kento’s grandfather now you know I won’t give in so easily.”

“Jun-kun, I don’t mean any of that. Not at all. Sorry if I offended you. I just want to see you that’s all. And to tell you that Sho is back in Japan.”

That catches Jun off guard.

“Sho is back?” He murmurs in disbelief.

Sakurai-san nods, smiling slightly at the man in front of him. “Sho is back. He doesn’t mention anything to me about you but I believe he has been looking for you again. I think he will be irritated that I’ve found you first before him.” Sakurai-san chuckles, joking lightly.

Jun eyes staring wide to the front, not really seeing the man in front of him or seems to be listening.

“Jun-kun,” Sakurai calls softly. “Jun-kun, be honest with me. Are you still waiting for Sho?”

Jun visibly tears up at the question. How can he not? Nobody has any ideas of how long he has been waiting for Sho or how he misses Sho. He managed a simple nod but doesn’t have any courage to speak. Who knows what will come out of his mouth after hearing the news?

“He is waiting for you too. He still loves you Jun-kun. He has your picture in a frame on his work desk. Do you want to see him?”

A tear escapes Jun’s eyes, unable to contain anymore.

Sakurai-san reaches for Jun’s hand across the table. “I’m sorry. It was our fault that you two separated for a long time. It’s time for you two to reunite again. Pardon for my rudeness Jun-kun.” He strokes Jun’s hand softly trying to calm the crying man. People inside the restaurant started to throws look at them but Sakurai-san doesn’t bother to care. His supposed to be son-in-law was caught in a whirl emotion and it was his fault. “I’ll talk to Sho tonight about you, I’m sure he will be happy to see you too.” The strokes stop once Jun able to put himself together again.

Jun excuses himself and goes to the washroom. Once deemed to be decent again he walks back to their table and finishes their lunches.

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.

Chapter 5

“Kazu,” Ohno calls his sleeping lover softly. He pushes Nino’s bangs that fell on his face. He looks so young with those bangs and bed hair.

Nino grunts at the disturbance. He is damn tired, he closed his café late last night as it is Saturday’s night, majority people are not working today so they go hang out with friends or family till late at night. And he needs to come to work at the afternoon too today. Well, morning actually but what’s the point of being the owner when he can’t have his own convenient time of clocking in and out. Nino didn’t even crack an eye when Ohno keeps smoothing his hair.

“I’m going out for a meeting. I’ve prepared breakfast. See you later at the café, okay?” Ohno tells. He knows Nino hears him even in his sleep.

“Un.” Nino answers curtly not even bothering to move. But when Ohno stands to leave he managed to catch his hand. “Kiss.” He demands.

Ohno chuckles at Nino’s childish request. He drops a kiss on Nino’s forehead, slaps his butt before walks out of the room.

***

-I’m meeting with Ohno-san this morning. Will update you any progress of the job-

Sho reads the message from his father in his phone. He is still lying on the bed, feeling lazy to get up and take shower. He hears sounds coming from the kitchen and living room, probably Aiba already awake and making breakfast. He yawns widely and buries himself under the blanket again. Not long after his phone vibrates again with a new message.

-Good morning, Sakurai-san. As spoken, I want to confirm if our meeting this afternoon stands still ?-

A message from the housing agent. Sho feels like slapping his head on the pillow. He already forgotten about that. He has been looking around for an apartment for his permanent stay. At first, he thought of renting a single room only, but he changed his mind thinking having a nice and cozy place to return to after a tiring day at work doesn’t sound bad. And he can afford it. At last he chooses a five-room house, big and spacey and he doesn’t know what the hell is he going to do with those space. But, if he is going to live with someone that would be very convenient. Talking about living with someone, he knows who would be in ecstatic to have such spacey place as home. Sho sighs. Again about Jun. He really needs to sort out himself and get up.

He gets up and tidy the bed before taking his morning shower. After he has freshened up enough, he goes to the kitchen. He thought Masaki made a breakfast for them both but he was wrong. When he goes to the kitchen there’s nothing left for him on the table.

“I thought you’re making breakfast for me too?” Sho asks.

“I’m not your keeper. And you’re not invalid. You should learn how to survive by yourself.”

“Mean.”

“Now you know.” Aiba replies. He holds his laugh when he sees Sho rolling his eyes at his remark.

Sho pushes the button on the coffee maker to make himself a cup of coffee. He leans to the countertop while waiting for his cup to be filled in.

“Are you going somewhere today?” he asks Aiba

“No specific plan. But surely not staying home. You?”

“I’m going to see the house agent. I forgot we have the meeting this afternoon.”

“Eh?”

“Huh?”

“You found a place already? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sho smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, slipped my mind.”

“Idiot.”

“Usually it was you who was called like that.”

“I’ve improved then. Thanks.”

Sho snorts. This guy is suddenly being grumpy. What’s up with him? Sho throws a look at the backyard through the window. “I want to find Jun again.” He says out of the blue.

Aiba glances at Sho once. He continues eating like he doesn’t care what Sho has just told him. After a bite, “No one is stopping you now,” he continues munching. “Need help?” he offers.

Sho looks at his friend at the table. He thinks for a while before answering, “I’ll try by my own first.”

Aiba nods his head. “Okay. Just tell me when you need help.” He says after that. Aiba doesn’t force. He knows Sho is stubborn and he doesn’t like to get help without trying by himself first. He is competitive like that but what assures Aiba is that Sho knows his limit. Sho can admit his own limit that’s why he does not need to worry much about him.

***

“Daddy..” Ken calls a bit urgently.

“Hmm?” Jun doesn’t even lift his head to look at Ken.

“I’m cold.” Ken tells. He hugs himself and rubs his palms on both his arms, trying to warm up.

Jun looks up from the laptop’s screen and sees Ken trying to fight the cold. He curses internally for forgetting Ken’s sweater. He reaches out for the air conditioner remote and raises the temperature a bit to make it warmer. Then, he stands and grabs his coat on his swivel chair and goes to Ken who is already sitting hugging his knees on the couch. “Here,” he wraps the coat to Ken’s small form and hugs the boy slightly. “Sorry, I forgot your sweater.”

“Daddy not cold?” Ken asks, aware that his father also weak to coldness.

“I’m used to this temperature. I’m fine.” Jun assures. “Are you hungry?”

“Not yet. I want to eat with Daddy. Don’t want to eat alone.”

Jun kisses Ken softly, feeling so loved by his own son. “Just a little more, then I’ll reheat the food. Okay?”

“Hai!”

Jun returns to his table while Ken lies comfortably on the couch blanketed with his Daddy’s coat. It smells like a fresh lemon, making Ken sniffing it before taking his story book and starts reading again to kill the time. Half an hour later, Ken feels his stomach grumbles asking to be filled. He closes his book and sits up. He puts the book on the glass table and jumps down the couch and walks towards Jun.

Jun frowns reading the emails. It doesn’t make sense at all to him with all the ridiculous statement given by the other party. He is nearly lost his composure when he feels something tugging at his trousers. When he looks down he sees Ken pouting while looking at him pleadingly with his big eyes, fist clutching at his trousers.

“What’s wrong?” Jun asks, confused.

“I’m hungry and I want to pee.”

Thinking that he has had enough with all those ridiculous emails, he pushes the chair backwards with his legs and stands up. Ken looks so small and cute in his oversize coat making him smiles unconsciously. Jun grabs Ken’s shoulder and remove the coat from Ken’s body, leaving it on the single seater couch before guiding Ken to the door. He just noticed that with Ken’s height, he can’t reach the doorknob without any tools to stand on. Jun opens the door and steps out to the bathroom.

“Are you done, Ken?”

“Yes, Daddy.” Ken emerges from the stall.

“Wash your hands.”

Ken walks to the washbasin and tiptoes to reach for the tap. Jun lifts Ken a little to help the boy wash his hands in the sink. He reaches for the tissue paper and wipes Ken’s hand dry.

“Matsumoto-kun?” a voice calling out to him.

Jun stands straight and spins around to look at the owner of the voice. He stuns.

“Matsumoto-kun.. is it?” the man asks again when Jun doesn’t answer.

Jun seems too shock to make his voice work. He manages a weak nod, eyes still wide, not believing his eyes looking at the person standing in front of him that moment.

“Daddy,” Ken’s voice succeeds to snap Jun out of his trance when he calls Jun softly. Jun looks at Ken’s confused face before returning his attention to the man standing opposite him.

“Y-yes, S-Sakurai-san,” he answers in stutters. His instinctive action was pushing Ken slightly behind him, hiding him behind.

Sakurai-san also looks bewildered, not believing that he will see his son’s ex-boyfriend in the company he is working with now. He doesn’t know what to say or do and he notices the boy standing behind Jun. He chooses to not say anything, he just bows his head slightly and turns to wash his hand.

Jun mirrors Sakurai’s act, before exiting the gents with Ken in tow. To his another unlucky surprise, he bumps into Ohno-san just at the corner.

“Jun-kun?” Ohno asks in surprise. He doesn’t expect to see Jun in the office on Saturday.

“Uncle Satoshi!” Ken calls out happily.

“Hi, boy. Following your daddy to work today?”

“Un. Daddy said he has work to finish today. So tomorrow we can go out together.”

“Is that so? That’s good, ne. Be a good boy today and don’t disturb your daddy working, alright?”

“Un! We want to eat lunch. Daddy’s room is so cold, and we forgot to bring my sweater.” Ken whines while acting like he is shivering.

“Poor boy.” Ohno pats Ken’s head before looking at Jun.

“Are you staying longer? I have meeting with a client today. Plan to go lunch now, wanna join?”

“It’s okay. We brought bento.” Jun refuses politely.

“Oh, okay then.”

A sound of a door closing making all three turns their heads towards the direction.

“Ah, Sakurai-san,” Ohno speaks first. “Jun, this is Sakurai-san, the client I talked about.” Ohno introduces. “Sakurai-san, this is Matsumoto Jun, one of my best architect in this company.”

They bow their heads respectively towards each other before Ohno-san gestures Jun to introduce Ken who is standing in between them two.

Jun grabs Ken’s shoulder a little tightly, “This is my son, Kento.” Jun doesn’t say Ken’s surname because he knows when Sakurai-san takes a good look at Ken’s face, he will know who that boy belongs to.

“Son?” Sakurai-san asks in surprise, taking steps to close their distance. “May I?” he asks Jun’s permission to hold Ken.

Jun lets go of Ken and push the boy a little at his back, asking him to go to Sakurai-san without saying it.

Ken takes a step forward and bows his head politely, “Good afternoon Sakurai-san, I’m Matsumoto Kento,” he introduced.

“Matsumoto?” Sakurai asks, kneeling to the boy to have a proper look at his face. When they were in the gents, he could not see Ken’s face clearly as he was hiding behind Jun, (or maybe Jun was hiding Ken from him) but now that he can take a proper look, he understands why. If Sakurai-san is surprised, he doesn’t show it. He glances at Jun who is pinning his attention at Ken’s back before speaking, “I see,” he says, “well, Kento-kun, nice to meet you. Will you join me and Ohno-san for lunch?”

Ken raises his head to look at his Daddy. Jun shakes his head slightly with a forced smile. Ken looks again at Sakurai-san and answers, “I’m sorry, Sakurai-san, I will eat lunch with Daddy. Thank you for asking.” He bows his head again.

All adult’s presence smiles at Ken’s words, including Jun who is suddenly feeling so relief at Ken’s answer. So young, yet so polite and mature.

“Aren’t you a good boy? Your daddy raises you good, Kento.” Sakurai praises and pats Ken’s head softly.

“Un!” Ken smiles, not at all realizing how his Daddy has gone stiff at his back.

“Well then, lets go. We still have a few things to discuss after lunch.” Ohno said, pulling all attentions to him.

“We should get going too,” Jun replies, pulling Ken to him again with a bit too much force than needed before walking back to his office.

“Matsumoto-k-san,” Sakurai calls, nearly slipped his words.

Jun stops his track and turns around.

“It’s nice to see you again.” He says and bows before walking towards the elevator.

Ohno looked at their interaction in confusion but doesn’t say anything.

Jun is stunned on his spot but quickly find his composure and walk with Ken back to his office.

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes:

300812 keep tempting me to write more but I'm starting to have doubts about posting this story. And

SYARESA98 , itsumo arigatou. ^^

Chapter 4

“Daddy!!” Ken runs towards Jun once he spotted him at the gate.

“Hello, my boy.” Jun greeted, kneeling down and pulls Ken into his hug. “How are you doing today?” Jun asks after he leaves his greeting kiss on Ken’s cheek.

“We learn how to fold paper crane!”

“Really? You can show it to daddy later. Let’s go home.” Jun grins happily at his son.

Jun bids Ken’s teacher goodbye before they walk home together.

“Jya.. Ken, what do you want for dinner?”

“Hmmm.. nothing in particular. Ah, Daddy, I want clam! And shellfish!” Ken says enthusiastically.

Jun stops walking. Clam and shellfish. Damn.

Jun resumes walking when Ken looks at him confusedly. “Clam and shellfish, okay. So, seafood spaghetti tonight? Would you like that?”

“Of course! Daddy’s cooking is the best!” Ken jumps around Jun excitedly while they both walk to the supermarket. However Jun can’t get rid the memory of a certain someone in his head. He wonders why is it that Sho invades his mind so frequently lately. Ken’s “Daddy’s cooking is the best!” reminds him of Sho’s “Your cooking is the best, Jun!” while the man devours the food like he hasn’t eaten for a week. The phrase keeps repeating in his head while he does the grocery shopping. He can’t help wondering a question to Sho in his mind, ‘Are you eating properly, Sho?’

***

“Daddy..”

“Hmm?”

“May I ask something?”

Jun is smoothing Ken’s hair while the boy is folding his paper crane on the low table. They’ve just had their dinner and now lazing around in the living room.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you miss Papa?”

Jun stops his movement and looks at Ken who is now staring at him curiously. “I do,” he answered, eyes holding on Ken’s firmly.

“Doesn’t Papa miss us?” Ken asked in low voice, eyes averting from Jun’s. He looks sad.

Jun resumes his little task before pulling Ken onto his lap. Ken doesn’t protest, instead, he leans on Jun’s chest comfortably. Jun drops a kiss on Ken’s hair. “Ken misses Papa?” he asked.

Ken nods weakly. “I don’t know if I should believe you say Papa still alive. I never met him even once.” Ken admits in small voice.

Jun closes his eyes listening to Ken’s broken voice saying that. He pulls Ken closer to his chest, drawing his arms around the small body. “Kento-kun,” he calls. Ken doesn’t react in his embrace. “Kento,” Jun calls for his attention again. Jun buries his face in Ken’s neck, tightening his embrace. “I’m sorry okay? Honestly even I don’t know if Papa is still alive or not.” Saying those words leaves a pang of guilt in his heart. Ken lives fatherless for 5 years and he never does anything to fix that. He knows how hard it was to live without parents, he lived it for years in the facility, all he had were the caretakers in the facility and Sho’s parents after he met him in his junior high. He knows he’s being unfair with Ken but he can’t bring himself to find another man to replace Sho no matter how long it will take for him to wait for Sho’s come back. He doesn’t know indeed, if Sho is actually still alive or not. He had never heard from him since he left, but he would like to hold on to the believes that Sho will come back. He insists that Sho will return to him again that’s why he is leaving that empty space in his heart until who knows when or at least until he is sure that he will never be able to meet Sho again. But before that time comes, he will never open his heart to anyone. That’s what he had sworn back then, and he intends to keep that promise still.

The problem now is Ken. What should he tell Ken? What should he do so that Ken would understand him? Ken is just a boy, no way he will understand these complicated things. Jun knows he is being selfish but hasn’t he always been like that?

Ken turns his head to look at Jun. Jun let go of his embrace so Ken can move freely. Ken stares in his eyes again. Ken has the facial of Sho. His face is the exact copy of Sho saved for his eyes. Only Ken’s eyes copying Jun. “Don’t you feel lonely?” Ken asks directly.

Jun was taken aback by the question and a bit confused.

“Why don’t you want to find Papa’s replacement? You never know if he will come back or not, right? Why would you wait so long for his return?” Ken asks confusedly.

“I don’t want to find replacement. I love him. I.. I..can’t..” Jun stutters.

“Why you can’t?” Ken asks again. His face is utterly confused. This time he turns around completely to look at Jun face to face.

“Because I love your Papa. I don’t want anyone else except him.” Jun tries to explain. He tucks Ken’s hair that falls on his face behind his ear.

“Even after Papa left you?”

Jun nods firmly without breaking the eye contact they had. He hated the way Ken was phrasing it. Sho didn’t leave him, he wanted to say, but the fact says just that.

“You won’t find anybody else even if I ask you to?”

Jun frowns. He doesn’t understand his son. What is it that he actually wants to know? He shakes his head nonetheless, answering Ken’s question guiltily.

“Good.” Ken states, “because I don’t want anybody else except my Papa too.”

Jun was dumbstruck with the answer. So Ken is also waiting for Sho? He can’t help tearing up at that thought. He draws Ken closer to his chest again and buries his face on Ken’s shoulder. He whispers a soft thank you while rubbing Ken’s back up and down.

Ken snakes his hands around Jun’s neck and hide his face there. “I love you, Daddy.” Ken whispers, resulting Jun to close his eyes and heave a relief sigh silently.

“I love you too my baby.” Jun whispers back. He rocks both of them back and forth, smiling contently. Ken giggles in his shoulders, and Jun felt soft kisses from a pair of lips in his neck. He can’t help but squirming, making Ken laughs. He is ticklish after all. Jun tempted to get revenge by tickling Ken’s side but refrained from doing so, instead, he pulls Ken away from his embrace and let him finish his abandoned paper crane.

“Don’t you feel sleepy?” Jun asks after a while.

“Not really. But I’m a bit tired.” Ken complains.

“Let’s sleep?” Jun asks, suggesting.

“Un, okay” Ken answers.

Jun accompanies Ken into his room and asks him to brush his teeth first before sleeping. He prepares Ken’s bed, as usual while Ken finishes his business in the washroom. After Jun tucks Ken under the blanket, he sits at the bedside, hand playing with Ken’s hair again, smoothing the locks. Ken was about to fall asleep when Jun remembers something important and he wakes the boy again by calling his name.

“Un?” Ken stares at Jun questioningly.

“Daddy has some work to finish tomorrow in the office. Do you want to come along?”

Ken doesn’t answer immediately. He looks at Jun hesitantly. “Is that okay? I don’t want to disturb Daddy working.” Ken asks for confirmation. He doesn’t want to disturb Jun while Jun is working but if he doesn’t come along, he will be alone at home.

“Of course, sweetheart. It’s weekend, not many people will be there. And I don’t want to leave you alone at home.” Jun answers convincingly.

“If that so, I will.” Ken confirms, yawning afterwards.

“Okay, sleep now. We need to wake up early tomorrow, okay?” Jun smooths Ken’s blanket neatly again.

“Okay, Daddy, good night. I love you.”

“Good night, baby. I love you too.” Jun kisses Ken for the last time before he switches off the lamp. Once he is confirmed Ken has fall asleep, he walks back to his own bedroom.

***

Sho went dinner at his parents’ place that night. His mother called asking him to go back home, Sho doesn’t have the heart to disobey her. It has been a week since his return but he never once step into the house again. He didn’t stay the night though, as it was too suffocating for him to be in the house. Memories of him and his sister and Jun swimming in his mind while they were eating. It kills him inside. He really was not ready for this yet. Sulking with his parents was one thing, but to live in the place where once was so lively but not now anymore, he just can’t.

He drives back to Aiba’s that night with a heavy feeling.

“You’re late. I thought you’re going to stay the night there?”

Sho just shakes his head weakly. He sits besides Aiba on the couch.

“Beer?”

Sho took the offered can with a soft thank you. He sips it slowly, savouring the bitter taste running down his throat. He put the can on the table and continues to sit there silently. Aiba seemed to understand his friend, as he also not saying a word. They watch the midnight news in silent before Aiba finally breaks the silent to excuse himself and return to his bedroom.

“Sho-chan,” he calls before walking away, “whenever you want to talk, I’m here, okay?”

After securing Sho’s answer which he gave a small nod, Aiba retreats to his room to call it a night.

***

Jun is still preparing their bentos when Ken finally comes to the kitchen.

“Good morning, sweetheart. Taken your shower?”

“Un!”

“Good boy. Sit there. Breakfast is ready. I’m packing the bentos.”

Ken sits on the chair as told. “Will we be long?” Ken asks while nibbling on the sandwich.

“I hope not. but I can’t promise.” Jun answers apologetically.

“Hmmm..” Ken pouts at Jun’s answer.

Jun walks to the table and put the food containers on it. “But I promise tomorrow you will have me for the whole day.” Jun replies convincingly, sitting on the chair next to Ken.

“Promise?” Ken shows his pinky finger which Jun linked with his.

“Promise.”

“Okay.” Satisfied with Jun’s answer they proceed to finish their breakfast before leaving.

Ken holds his water bottle while Jun locks the door. They walk hand in hand to the bus stop and wait there for a few minutes before the bus finally arrive. They take the sit near the exit.

“Daddy,” Ken calls.

“Hm?”

“Why don’t you want to buy a car?” Ken asks.

Jun doesn’t answer immediately. Ken doesn’t know about his past. Ken never asked and he never tell. But Ken’s question now connects directly to his past. The exact reason why he becomes an orphan. He doesn’t want to dwell, but he can’t forget it either. The past trauma, Sho. He sighs.

“I don’t have driving licence.” Jun finally spoke after minutes of silence.

“Why won’t you take one?” Ken keeps questioning. He wonders why. This is not the first time he wonders about that but he never has the courage to ask his Daddy. “You can afford it right?”

Indeed Jun can afford it. Not only the driving licence, he also affords to buy a car actually. But just the thought of him sitting in a car terrifies him. He had the car accident which killed both his parents when he was five, same age as Ken now. Since then he lived in the orphanage until he finished senior high school, he found a part time job and with the Sakurais’ help, he managed to rent his own apartment room during college days. It was also Sho who helped him overcome his trauma but now that Sho is no longer here, he never bothers to fight it again.

Another sigh leaves his lips. “I’m waiting for your Papa to drive me again.”

“Daddyy..” Ken whines.

Jun looks at Ken questioningly.

“You are not fair. Why you can see Papa but I can’t?” Ken pouts at his Daddy.

Jun smiles sweetly at the boy. He pulls Ken towards him and kisses his head. “We’ll see him together one day, ne?”

“Really?”

“Let’s pray together for that.”

Ken’s pout doesn’t disappear until they reach their stop. They walk to the buildings which mostly empty saves for few people who are like Jun, have work that need to be done before the deadline or people who like to work in the weekend just so they can work in peace without anyone bothering. Jun walks straight into his office while exchanging greetings with the people he knows on the way and after making sure Ken is comfortable in the room, Jun resumes his pending job until the afternoon.

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Notes: thank you my Beta Syaresya who endured this boring story through the end. (i'm stuck at chapter 10, maybe will just stop there. haha..) and the girl

fractalkine who will have a test tomorrow, good luck. this story was written because of you. i owe you SJ love till the end. (though i really want to sleep right now.)

Chapter 3

Sho was nervous about the meeting that would take place in the office today. However, his secretary was doing a very good job introducing him to the staffs and his meeting with his father also went well much to his surprise. He never thought that his father has changed that much. He is very welcoming of his return and even said that he should come back home. His mother is missing him too much already. Sho didn’t agree right away, he still need some time to sort out his thought and feelings but he did promise to visit them later. Even just that, his father present him the brightest smile that he swears he never saw before. ‘What’s changed?’ he thought.

When he finally retreats to his designed office, he felt lighter than he had thought the night before. He thinks that it’s not that bad to have return to Japan if this is the current situation of the company that he needs to lead on from now. He knows he doesn’t have much choice but to do his best for this place and for everyone working with him now.

Once he takes his sit, he took out a framed-picture of them and put it on his work desk. He thinks that that way, he will never forget his feeling towards the younger man and his utmost wish to see him again will never die. Not that he can do either of that though, as his feeling is still there and alive, but he hopes that even just by looking at his picture would ease his mind and heart, and he always prays for Jun’s happiness. If Jun has already found someone to replace him, he would pray for their happiness together, and hope that he could amend his broken heart. But now, he needs to focus the task in hand which to train himself to be the future leader of Sakurai Holdings.

Just when he starts to boot his laptop, somebody knocks on his door.

“Come in,”

An unexpected person steps into the room. “Sho-kun,” his father greets.

“Hi, father.” Sho smiles stiffly. Even though his meeting with the older just now went great, he is still awkward when there were just the two of them.

His father had a file in his hand which he shows to Sho and Sho gestures him to sit on the chair opposite him.

“I have a new project in discussion and would like you to take over when it’s finalized.” Sakurai-san started. He handed Sho the documents which Sho took with a small frown. “Nothing big though, but I think it would be a waste if we don’t take it. The profit is promising.”

Sho flips and scanned the documents in brief. Not big indeed, but yeah, the place is strategic and sure can make a profit. The place is developing. People will flock down if there are places to accommodate their stay even for a night. “Which architecture company are you working with?”

“The Ohno Group.” Sakurai-san noticed the frame on the desk for the first time and at the same time Sho raises his head to look at his father. He noticed where his father was staring but both didn’t say anything. “I will continue the discussion with Ohno-san and if there are any updates that you should know I will inform you immediately.” Sakurai-san continues.

Sho nods his head and Sakurai-san stands from his seat to leave. “Thank you, Sho. And again, welcome back. Let’s see each other at home.” Sakurai-san extend his hand to shake with Sho and Sho gladly received. He can work this out. They can do this together. He makes himself believe that while he walks Sakurai-san out of his office. When he sits back, he stares at Jun’s. “My father didn’t comment anything about you. Do you think he still remembers? Will he still bless us to be together?”

*Flashbacks*

“Sho-kun!” Jun shouts happily at his senior, waving a test paper in his hand. “I got 80 points in my Maths test!”

“Really?! That’s great, Macchan!” Sho catches Jun who jumps into his arms excitedly. “See? Didn’t I tell you that you can do it if you give it your all?”

“Yep! Thank you so much, Sho-kun! I demand my present now!” Jun can’t stop squealing in excitement.

Sho kisses Jun’s cheek immediately. “There, your present.”

Jun blushes but his eyes light up in happiness. “I want more.” He demands.

“Close your eyes.”

Jun follows the instruction and almost immediately he feels a pair of lips on his own. But before he managed to return the kiss, the lips are gone making him open his eyes and pouts. “That’s too quick.”

“We are outside. Don’t want to attract too much attention, aren’t we?” Sho asks, caressing Jun’s cheek softly with his knuckles.

Jun rubs his cheek dreamily against the hand, smiling at Sho. “You’ll give me a better one when we are at home?”

“Yes, a proper one for my special kouhai.”

“I’m only a kouhai?” Jun pouts again.

“Hmmm…” Sho made a thinking gesture trying to tease the teen in front of him.

Jun pouts more making Sho giggles. He kisses Jun’s nose before clarifying to Jun. “Of course you are a kouhai, but my very, very special kouhai that I wish to call him my boyfriend.” Sho smirks blatantly when he sees Jun’s ears turning red at the tips. And Jun looks down to hide his blushing cheeks too. “You are so easy to be flattered, Jun,” Sho comments.

“Only when it comes from you.” Jun looks at Sho’s eyes daringly. He doesn’t mind as long as it is Sho.

Sho smiles again at Jun, before taking Jun’s hand and pull him out to the street. They walk hand in hand, each time the hold becomes stronger, they squeeze each other’s hand comfortingly.

“Do you want to go straight home or do you want to eat first?” Sho asks during their way.

“I follow you.”

“You always follow me. But today is your special day so let me follow you?”

Jun blushes again at the remark. Man, he is really weak against Sho. “Let’s go straight home? I’ll cook something special for us.”

“You sounds like a good housewife you know?” Sho chuckles again.

Jun stops abruptly, feeling bothered with Sho’s question. He is afraid if he is being too clingy to Sho and he is bothering Sho like that. “Can’t I?” he asks, voice sounding far.

Sho stops too, looking at Jun who is standing slightly behind him. Jun has lowered his head, looking hurt. Sho turns to stand in front of Jun. He takes Jun’s other hand, “my housewife?” he asks in hushed tone, very close to Jun’s face.

Jun nods, still not looking up.

Sho cups Jun’s chin and makes Jun look at him. He kisses Jun’s lips once. “I would very much love that, my dear.”

A smile creeping up Jun’s lips and his eyes light up again. Jun nods confidently this time, his fear disappeared when Sho looks at him with eyes full of love. They continue their walk to Sho’s house, stopping at the convenient store to grab some groceries.

“Is uncle and auntie at home?” Jun asks while they head to Sho’s house.

“Nope. Work. Not going to be back until tonight.”

“Oh. Mai and Shu?”

“Mai is with my grandparents. They came the other day and offered to bring Mai to hometown. She said fresh air there could help to improve her health. Shu is still in school. He has rugby practice today. Won’t be at home until this evening.”

“So you’re alone at home?”

“Pretty much yes.”

“And if I don’t come with you now you will starve yourself to death?”

Sho stops walking and turns to face Jun. “Didn’t think so. Maybe I’ll just kidnap you from the facility and have you as my lunch and dinner instead.” Sho smirks evilly.

“Like you will, Mr. Nerd.” Jun snorts, not believing Sho at all. He knows Sho won’t do anything inappropriate with him until he comes to the age.

Sho laughs at Jun’s retorts and continues walking. “I’m happy that you’re coming though. Would’ve let myself die of boredom without your company.”

“Uncle and Auntie really don’t mind leaving us two alone? They know who we are to each other.” Jun asks his doubts.

“Matsumoto-kun, if I dare to lay a finger on you I will be the one to face the death instead of you. I’m still young and I love my life. AND, I still want to spend my time with you looooongerrrr. So my dear, don’t worry about them, okay? Do you still want your present or not? The longer we take to get there, the longer you need to wait for your present.”

“Okay, okay. I get it. Thank you, Sho-kun.” Jun leaves a playful kiss on Sho’s cheek and runs towards the house. He lets Sho chase him, laughing when he sees Sho struggling to catch to him with all the groceries in his hands. He cannot enter the house though as the keys are with Sho. He waits for Sho at the gate and helps Sho to open the gate and the door and they enter together.

Once they are inside, Jun hurries to Sho’s bedroom and change his clothes while Sho puts the groceries at the kitchen. Jun starts to prepare the ingredients while Sho takes his shower. Definitely like a domestic family that both of them imagine.

***

Sho lets himself linger around the memory. Once he feels it’s enough for the day, he caresses the picture imagining it as Jun’s face before sitting straight and continues his work. He takes a deep calming breath before starting his tasks in hand. He needs to prepare both his mind and body to face the long day ahead.

Current Location: in my room
Current Music: none

Title: Eviternal Love
Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: G
Length: Chaptered
Summary: Matters caused Sho and Jun separated. But eventually, they find each other again.
Credit: thank you Sya-chan for being my beta! Even though you are also busy. ^.^ And

fractalkine for the title. ^^

Chapter 2

“Please Sho, only you can help us!”

“Why me?! She is your daughter! Can’t you at least ONCE prioritise your children before everything else?!”

“Let’s break up.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Sorry, Jun. I have someone else more important to take care of. I’ll let you go.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?! You don’t just tell me to break up and walk away! Sho! Sho!!”

Sho jerks up awake from the sleep, body shaking. This is not the first time he experienced that dream. Its been a few nights, the dreams keep repeating, disturbing his sleep. The dream is actually a memory of his before he left Japan, had caused the break-up of him with his love, also had left a scar in his heart. The scar that would never heal no matter how much time passed, Sho was sure he would live with the scar until the end of his life. Not at least until he can see his ex-lover once again, to hold him in his arms again, and claim him as his for the rest of their lives.

Sho blinks his eyes a few times to adjust to the darkness of his room. He clutches his hand tightly to the sheet beneath him to ground himself. “Jun,” his fingers wander to the necklace resting coldly at his neck, the one that he bought with Jun on their 5^th anniversary. “I miss you.”

***

“Sho-chan?” Aiba Masaki, his secretary/best of the best friends knocks on his bedroom’s door.

“Yes, Aiba-chan?” Sho half-shout to make his voice heard by the man standing behind the door. He is trying to zip-close the luggage, with a little struggle as he tried to fit his last pieces of stuffs into the bag. He has done his packing, only three bags with him to fly with, the others he already shipped it back to Japan. Sho heard the door opening.

“Are you finished?” Aiba asked, inviting himself into the room.

“Yup! All done.” Sho smiles satisfied.

“Come downstairs. I made breakfast.”

“Really? As expected of my best secretary. What did you prepare?”

“Toast.” Aiba answers shortly.

“That’s all?”

“And coffee.”

“And?”

“Come downstairs. I’m not your maid, mind you.” Aiba answers, rolling his eyes at Sho.

Sho laughs out loud, feeling content to have annoyed his friend so early in the morning.

“Come, gluton,” Aiba pulls Sho’s hand out of the room.

“Hey!” Sho stared at Aiba annoyed. Nobody makes fun of his eating habit. No one. Except that one person. Sho’s mood change almost abruptly thinking of Jun again but he covers it well. He meant it not to show his uneasy feeling to Aiba this morning that’s why he tried to mess with that guy when he asked about the food Aiba prepared. Also, the dream he had is still bothering him.

“Don’t worry, you’ll stay as my favourite squirrel forever.” Aiba tried to kiss Sho teasingly at his cheek but Sho managed to push him away before that. Aiba nearly trip, lucky he managed to grip on the stairs railing and avoided from falling down.

“What? Sho-chan, are you trying to kill me?!” Aiba stares horrifiedly downstairs. Damn, if he had fallen down, that’s high.

“I didn’t. You asked for it.” Sho answers innocently and continue to walk down the stairs.

Once he reached at the kitchen, he gapes in surprise. “Masaki! You are the best!” He screams and pulls his friend into a crushing hug. There’s a beautifully decorated pancakes on the table, a juice and coffee – he can choose what he would like to drink, toast and sandwich.

“I know I am,” Aiba wipes the non-existent sweat at his forehead and smirks at Sho. “Just don’t eat all by yourself. I prepare this for us two, and I don’t want you to get stomach ache in the flight and get too chubby once we arrive in Japan.”

Sho pouts at Aiba’s remarks but takes his seat nonetheless. He should enjoy this while he can for he knows that he would not have such luxuries once he is back in Japan.

They eat in a silent company, Sho’s praising of Aiba’s food could be heard here and there and they eat to their heart’s content. Sho loves homemade food. He can’t stop his silly grins everytime he takes a bite of the food. ‘I’ll definitely miss this.’

Once they are done, they move to bring their bags downstairs. The taxi Aiba booked the other day already waiting outside the house, the driver helps them to put their luggages to the car’s trunk and drive them to the airport.

***

“Ne, Aiba-chan,” Sho finally voices out after 2 hours of quietness in the flight.

“Hmm?” Aiba stops his reading and look at Sho.

“Do you think I would be able to see him again once I’m there?”

Aiba stares long at his friend. Sho is looking outside the window and he looks so.. crushed. “Of course you will.” He answered with a smile, trying to be convincing.

“What if he is no longer staying in Japan?”

“You will find him again. No matter what happen, nothing will block you from seeing him again. You still love him, don’t you?”

“I do. But I don’t know him.”

“It’s okay, Sho-chan. Have faith in him, okay? Have faith in both of you. I’m sure you both will definitely find each other again.”

“How can you be so sure?” Sho asks, finally looking at Aiba with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Sho-chan..” Aiba sighs before he pulls his friend into a hug. Sho wouldn’t let anyone see him like this but with Aiba, it’s different. Aiba rubs Sho’s back up and down, encouraging him to let go. “You can cry all you want, I won’t let you fall. I’m here, Sho-chan.” Aiba says soothingly. He knows Sho is broken inside. No matter how tough he acts to appear outside, only he could see how much Sho is suffering. Sho was forced to leave his love behind when his parents ask him to take care of his sister, Sho was strong because he needs to, to keep Mai strong too but now he has lost the cause to be strong with Mai’s death, and he can’t just return to his old life with Jun, he doesn’t even know anything about Jun anymore after his take-off, hadn’t heard anything from the man ever since, and he was expected to return to Japan to assist his father in the company. Just how unfair they could be? Not bothering about their children’s welfare and acts like they are the most important person in the world. Aiba wouldn’t say that the Sakurai’s are the selfish type but the way they treated their children sometimes are so unfair. So unfair even to anyone. But he respects Sho. Even though he grew up in such kind of environment, Sho never disrespect his parents, always be the obedient son and acts to their wishes. Sometimes he hopes that Sho would at least act even a bit more rebellious, so that he can have his happiness too. But no, Sho is kind-hearted like that. He always put his family on the top of the list no matter how sick that can be to him. And of course he would never refuse anything if it concerns his sister. But now even his sister is gone, to what else should Sho hold himself onto?

Sho is not sobbing but he is clearly crying. Aiba keeps soothing Sho with kind words, saying how strong he is to be able to get here, where he is now despite everything that had happened. After some time Sho calms down, he pulls away from the hug. He asks Sho to sleep and get some rest, try to not think of what awaits him in Japan. He looks Sho closes his eyes but knowing Sho, he knows that Sho will definitely tries to fight sleep. Sho’s frown making his suspicious clearer. At last he let Sho wondering with his own thoughts while he continues his reading. After sometime he falls asleep too, only waking up when the stewardess shakes him lightly to tell him that they are landing in a few minutes. He looks at Sho who also seems like just wake up from sleep. He smiles slightly. He hopes Sho will be okay when he meets his parents again. A wishful thought really, but it’s not wrong to wish for something good.

***

Sho doesn’t go straight to his parents’ house instead, he drops his bags in the house and follows Aiba to his apartment. He feels not ready just yet to see his parents. In addition, it’s been a while since he last saw them, it feels weird even just the idea of living with his parents again. He thought to buy an apartment in advance while he was in Germany so he has his own place to stay when he is in Japan but Aiba opposed the idea. Since he doesn’t spend his time much in Japan, it would be a waste to buy a house without letting anyone staying in it. But now that he is permanently back, he is thinking again the idea of having his own place. A place where he can spend his time with his beloved preferably. But before that, he should settle down with his new working environment. New workmates and subordinates, some of them already know him, they have met in several occasions but mostly, especially the staffs in each departments must have never saw him. And that too, he would have to see his father in the office, (obviously). But he doesn’t worry about that now. They are mostly acting as a professional when it comes to work, it’s easier to talk to his Mr. Sakurai as a boss than as a father. That’s just too awkward for him, he can’t even think about it.

He drops his laptop bag on the sofa in the living room and sits beside it tiredly. ‘Damn, what a long flight.’ Aiba has disappeared into his room and he doesn’t know if that guy would come out again. He must be equally tired like him. He doesn’t need to worry though, as Aiba-chan walks towards him later and sits on the single sofa next to him.

“You can use the other room upstairs. But the bathroom is outside, just next to the room. If that’s okay with you?”

“Masaki, I’m invading your place I don’t have right to complain about anything, right?”

Aiba smacks Sho’s head with the cushion making the man snarls.

“What was that for?!” Sho asks, annoyed.

“What invading? It’s not like you never stays here before.” Aiba pouts at Sho.

“I just don’t want to trouble anyone, okay?”

“I know Sho-chan. Ahh.. you’re always acting like this. I don’t like that you know?”

“Acting like what?”

“Acting like we are strangers! We’ve known each other like what? Since kindergarten?”

“I only met you after I enter university. We happened to be housemates, don’t be so dramatic.” Sho rolls his eyes at his friend. ‘Kindergarten my ass’.

“Okay, but certainly we are friends. Best of best friends, didn’t you said that? So, no, you never trouble me and you can never ever trouble me. You helped me so you can say that I’m returning the favour.”

“Okay, Masa. I’m tired and I want to sleep. Don’t you too?”

“I am. Do you need help to put your things in the room?”

“No need. I can manage this, just a backpack not the whole bags I put in the flight just now.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t bother you until tomorrow morning. Do you mind if we buy breakfast outside for tomorrow?”

“I’ve been living with take-outs half of my life why that should bother me now?”

“Okay, Sho-chan, good night.”

“Good night, Aiba-chan.”

They retreated to their respective rooms to get the deserved rest. Sho didn’t have a very good sleep though, the bed feels foreign and he still worries about meeting his father in the office tomorrow. What would be his reaction after not seeing him for 3 years? What would his mother think about him? And there was his younger brother too. Sho releases a heavy sigh before closing his eyes, forcing himself to sleep and forget about everything just for that night. And sleep he gets until morning.

***

fractalkine for the title. ^^

Chapter 1

Matsumoto Jun, 31, architect in Ohno Group Company is running late again to his office. “Damn it!” he curses while running in the rain, shielding himself from the furious storm using his briefcase. “It’ll get wet!”

“Jun-kun!” a car stops in front of him on the zebra crossing and the driver rolls down the window on the passenger seat. “Get in!” the driver instructed, and Jun didn’t think twice, immediately hops on the car and they drive away to the office.

“I think I wet the presentation paper,” Jun says in panic to the driver – his boss, Ohno Satoshi while wiping the briefcase with his blazer’s sleeve.

“Don’t worry, I have the copy. You gave me the other day, remember?” Ohno says calmly, making Jun sighs in relief.

“Get change when we arrive at the office. I have extra dress shirt and suit in the trunk.”

“Okay, Ohno-san, thank you so much.”

“Not a problem. I hope you are prepared enough for today’s presentation?”

“Except for my already wet outfit today I think I can manage the presentation smoothly.”

“Good. That’s what I like about you.” Ohno throws a teasing glance through the rear-view mirror at his employee.

Jun giggles at his boss’s teasing, not at all care about it instead he rests his head comfortably at the back seat, enjoying the fresh scent of his boss’ car with closed eyes. He tries to calm himself from his earlier panic and he succeeds just that.

***

“It’s a splendid presentation” was what his boss told him while patting his back proudly. Ohno gave a very satisfied smile to Jun, feeling so proud and satisfy already even though they haven’t yet receives the final result of the presentation.

“We haven’t yet knowing the result I think it’s not wise to be relief now, Sir.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you know I never really care about results. As long as you guys have done your utmost effort, that’s good enough for me. Good results always come with the greatest effort.”

And that reminds Jun of why he really loves working with this easy-going man.

That night Jun went out drinking with his colleagues at work, half celebrating the job-well done. Trust him to say not to get too excited but he would never refuse good opportunity of spending quality time with his silly friends.

“Where do you put Ken tonight, Jun?” Shun asks.

“A gaming night session with his favorite uncle Nino.”

“Ahh.. will he spend the night there?”

“No. I’ll pick him up later.”

“Seriously, don’t get drunk in front of that boy.” Shun warns half-heartedly. He who also has two small children of course would know what to do and do not in front of 5-year old kids.

“What are you talking about? This is not first time Jun joins us drinking after he has Ken. He knows what he is doing.” Toma slurs annoyedly at Shun, defending Jun’s action.

Jun smirks at his friends, feeling proud that he has such good friends by his side, who has never stop showing their supports when Jun has his roller-coaster mood about his life.

Matsumoto Ken is his 5-year old son, back when he was with that guy in his teenage years. He wouldn’t say that Ken was an accident, no, he would give his live to protect that boy no matter what may come. Even though sometimes, it hurts so much to look at the boy, who would remind him to his father, but no, Ken was his savior. When he thought that he could give up on that boy however, Ken is the prove of Sho’s existence in his life. Even after that guy disappears not so mysteriously leaving Jun at his wits end, Jun is actually still waiting for him, hoping that one day, he will come back to him again.

Sometimes he feels like a fool, waiting for something uncertain, but everytime he decided to move on, something was holding him back. He doesn’t understand nor know what and why, but everytime he looks at his son’s face, there is this hope in him that Sho would return and meet his son eye to eye one day. He is still clinging to that thin hope, but his friends finally accepted his resolution and stops nagging him about finding a partner. No doubt, Jun has surrendered his heart to a certain Sakurai Sho long ago when he was still just a scrawny teen.

Jun didn’t stay long at the bar, just like the other nights, not wishing to leave Ken too long. He rarely has time to spend with Ken with his working office hours at the office, also sometimes he needs to be at the office during weekend. He is lucky that Ken never complains about his work, Jun would like to think that Ken understood his circumstances – being a single parent while raising a son is not easy. Jun tries to be fair with Ken though, every opportunity he gets to spend his time with his son would never go to waste. And his boss also understands, Ninomiya Kazunari aka his boss lover is Jun’s best friend. That’s how he got to keep his job at the company with Nino’s help. He owes those two a lot, he will do his best to assist them in anything that he could.

***

“Daddy!!” Ken squealed happily once he sees Jun at the door.

“Hi, sweetie. Have you been a good boy?” Jun knelt to stand equally as Ken, patting his head softly.

“I have!” Ken admits proudly.

“A very good boy indeed.” Ninomiya interrupted, smiling at the boy in Jun’s arms who is giggling happily.

Jun sees Ohno walking towards them before standing next to Nino and sneak his arm around Nino’s middle. He scoops Ken into his arms to carry him. “Thanks, Neen, Ohno-san. I’ll bring him back now.”

“Careful on your way back. And don’t be late tomorrow.” Ohno reminds casually.

Jun smiles sheepishly. “Yes, noted. Good night you two.”

“Will have a very good night indeed, as long as that little rascal not around to disturb us.” Nino replies playfully, throwing a dirty look at Ken who is suspiciously trying to hide his laugh in Jun’s neck.

Jun raises an eyebrow at the remark, not questioning directly but he narrows his eyes towards Nino.

“Oh, don’t worry, I didn’t do anything inappropriate to that boy, no need to be too wary Jun-kun.”

“Kazu.” Ohno calls sternly.

“Should’ve known not to leave my son too long with you.” Jun sighs.

“I won the game today, Uncle Nino promised to treat me ice-cream at the new ice-cream parlour!”

Jun laughs while Nino heaves a defeated sigh. “No wonder you are unhappy.” Jun commented.

Ohno kisses Nino’s temple while chuckling, not at all defending his lover against Ken. Well, adults should show good examples towards kids. Promise means promise, not to be break for whatever reason.

Jun excused themselves for the night. He hails a taxi and ride back home with Ken.

“Ne, Oh-chan.”

“Un?”

“Don’t you think Jun should get somebody now? Until when is he going to wait for that idiot?” Nino asked, somehow annoyed.

He got a kiss as a reply before they proceed to the bedroom. “Jun is still in love with that guy, isn’t he? Let him be, Kazu.” Ohno tries to reason with his lover.

“He shouldn’t. It’s been years. Isn’t he just wasting his time?” Nino still expressing his dissatisfaction.

“Kazu, let’s not meddle with his business okay? Jun is an adult, he knows what he is doing. We don’t have to always tell him what he should or shouldn’t do.”

“Fine, fine. I’m just worry, you know?” Nino answered sulkily.

“I know. You are a good friend. Jun knows that you are just concern. But let him decide what’s best for him and as for us, let just be here for him whenever he needs us, okay?”

Nino nods obediently at Satoshi’s answer. It’s never easy to argue with him. No wonder he is a wonderful boss that everyone wants to work hard for. He is proud with his lover. “I love you, you know?” Nino confess suddenly.

“I know. And I love you too, Kazu.” Satoshi kisses his boyfriend before both drop themselves on the bed, finding rest for the night.

Jun carries Ken into the house as Ken dozes off midway during the drive. Jun drops Ken in the boy’s bedroom, changing his t-shirt into his pyjama when the boy suddenly wakes up.

“Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

Ken sits up from the bed. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” Ken asked, yawning widely after that, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles.

“Why?”

“Hmm.. I want a cuddle.” Ken half-whine.

Jun laughs lightly at the answer. He pulls Ken into his arms while cooing. “So cute my boy..” he drops a kiss at Ken’s temple. “You can, but daddy wants to take a shower first, okay?”

“Okay, daddy.”

“Have you brushed your teeth?”

“No.” Ken shakes his head lightly.

“Okay, go brush your teeth first then go to my room. You can sleep first if daddy hasn’t finish, alright?”

“Hai!”

Jun kisses Ken before he let the boy walk out to the bathroom. Jun takes Ken’s squirrel plushie and brings it to his room, knowing that Ken wouldn’t sleep well without it. When he finished showering, he sees Ken already sleep snuggling the toy plush on his bed. He walks to the bed and sit on the edge. Jun caresses Ken’s head softly, enjoying the silky feeling of Ken’s hair. His mind wanders to Ken’s father. He touches the cold silver around his neck.

“What are you doing now, Sho? Where are you?”

***

Current Music: NEWS - U R Not Alone

“I’m back..” Nino walked into the house and immediately slumped on the sofa. “I’m tired..” he whined to no one in the house. “Oh-chan, come back fast..” he continued whining. Nino lied on the sofa face first not realizing that he fell asleep until he felt a soft nudge on his shoulder.

Ohno came back a little late and surprised to find the house dark. “Kazu?” he called, switching on the lamp switch and walked into the living room. He found Nino lying on the sofa, sleeping. “Kazu..” he softly caressed Nino’s hair, trying to get the man awake. Nino stirred but not waking. Ohno gently shake his shoulder. “Kazu, wake up..”

“Uhnn?”

“Why are you sleeping here?”

“Oh-chan? Hmm.. sorry.. I didn’t realize I fell asleep.” Nino slowly sat up. “Did you just come back?” Nino asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Yes. You didn’t even switch on the lights. Come on, go shower first, I’ll prepare dinner.”

“okay..”

Ohno cooked dinner while Nino had his shower. Once finished, Ohno took his turn for the shower while Nino serves the food on the table. They ate in comfortable silence, only the moans and praise of delicious food could be heard during the meal.

“What do you want to do tonight?” Ohno asked.

“Hmm? I need to pass another level in my game. Or, do you have anything in mind?” Nino answered.

“Nope. I just wanna sleep.”

“you’re boring.” Nino whined.

Ohno chuckled at that respond.

“By the way,” Nino started, “Sho-chan sends his regard to you.”

“Oh. How is he?”

“Stupid as ever.”

“Huh?”

“Nah, he told Jun his past. And well.. it wasn’t pretty.”

“Is Jun okay?”

“I can’t say. He looked fine but..” Nino trailed, trying to find the correct word to describe Jun’s condition. “..a bit distracted?” he continued. “Yeah, nearly got another breakdown today.” He told Ohno.

Ohno hummed, acknowledging the news.

“Do you think, Jun would relapse to his previous condition?” Nino asked worriedly.

“He already showed the signs, Kazu. It’s possible. Let’s just do our best to help him again, okay?

Nino has stopped eating and just playing with his food. He looked down. “I don’t like it when Jun had his crisis. It’s tiring.” Nino sulked.

Ohno just sighed and continue eating. “Finish your food. You can continue play your games after this.” He commanded.

“Why do I feel like you are treating me like your younger brother rather than your boyfriend?” Nino asked, annoyed at that commanding tone.

“Because you act like one” Ohno answered casually.

“Fine!” Nino grumbled and finally started eating again.

***

Sho smelled something delicious when he entered the house. ‘Jun is home. And he is cooking!’ Sho squealed to himself feeling giddy. He walked directly into the kitchen and saw Jun standing in front of the stove stirring what looked like soup in the pot slowly. Sho hugged Jun suddenly from behind making the man startled and accidentally dropped the ladle onto the floor.

“Sho-san!” Jun shouted, angry at the sudden surprise.

Sho smiled sheepishly, scratching his head in apologize. “Sorry.” He said apologetically.

“Can’t you at least announce that you’re home instead of trying to give me heart-attack like that?!” Jun scolded.

Sho just grinning stupidly at Jun, suddenly lost his voice to defend himself. Jun picked up the fallen ladle and wash it in the sink.

“Are you hungry?” Jun asked.

“Yes.” Sho answered shortly, standing still behind Jun.

“Go shower first while I finish this.” Jun said looking up to Sho.

“Okay.” Sho answered but make no move to go.

“Anything the matter?” Jun asked again.

“Nothing. Just miss you.” Sho said, stealing a kiss on Jun’s lips and hurriedly out of the kitchen before Jun got mad at him again. Jun was stunned but immediately react again. He shook his head.

“Weirdo.” He mumbled and return to his cooking.

***

“Jun,” Sho called when they have finished their dinner. Jun looked at Sho from the couch. “I have something to talk to you.” Sho said, taking his place beside Jun on the couch.

“Hmm?” Jun didn’t move from his sitting position, eyes trained to the TV screen.

Sho pulled Jun’s hand into his, slowly caressing the inner wrist. “Let’s see Doctor Matsuda next week?” he suggested.

Jun’s hand in Sho’s twitched, likely to pull away. But Sho gripped the wrist tighter, not giving Jun chance to get away from him. As usual, Jun didn’t answer but he no longer trying to pull away from Sho. Jun was quiet, but Sho could see panic slowly seeped into his eye, his breathing became short gasps. Before Jun got into panic attack, Sho pulled him close into his chest. He let Jun listen to his heartbeat, carefully guiding Jun’s breathing to calm him down. It’s not unexpected, Jun’s silence about his issues always ended up like this. But Sho didn’t want to give up. If Jun insisted on being quiet, Sho would speak on behalf of them both. “I’m not angry, Jun. I wish you would be honest with me but it’s okay. I understand. Just please this time listen to me?” Sho soothed softly, gently patting his head on his chest.

Jun didn’t react or said anything. He was still trying to control his breathing. His hand slowly rounding Sho’s hip, trying to anchor himself to reality. The rubbing on his back helped him to calm, the fragments of the nightmares slowly faded from his mind. He pulled away from Sho when he was calm enough to talk. “I remember,” he started, “the dreams.” He explained. Sho’s hand in his didn’t move, gently encouraging Jun to talk. “I really didn’t at first, but after a few nights the dream lingered when I woke up. It feels like I wasn’t there in the room. But your presence saved me.” Jun finally spoke. “I’m scared.. I don’t want to see doctor because if I do, that means everything is real. I would need to see him regularly again, I don’t want to. I’m tired..” Jun was crying freely now. He was clutching so tightly to Sho’s t-shirt, desperate for any kind of support from the other man. “I don’t want to admit that I still need help.” Jun sobbed, “going to him would mean that I still need him, I still need you. I don’t want to bother you anymore but I’m..” Jun couldn’t finish his rant because Sho pulled him fiercely to his broad chest, silencing Jun at once.

“You can’t say that because I’m already worry about you. Let me help you, let us help you, that way I know that I’m doing what I can do for you and I know you’re also doing your best. Just the thought of you doing your best to get better is enough for me, Jun. I don’t care how long it’ll take, as long as I know, I see your effort that’s all I need.” Sho said trying to calm the trembling man in his arms.

Jun couldn’t say anything except to continue his crying feeling so helpless and guilty. He didn’t want to trouble Sho anymore but Sho was already worried about him and it’s because of him!

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry..” Jun could only mumble his apology, not knowing how to make it up to Sho.

Sho hold Jun tight, leaving butterfly kisses on his head, at the same time trying to calm his storming heart. “Please Jun,” Sho pleaded, “I already went to see Doctor Matsuda the other day and he asked to see you. Go see him, okay?” he persuaded.

Jun was reluctant to agree. He really didn’t want to go but.. but Sho asked him to. Sho was worried and he didn’t want to make it worst. Clutching tightly to Sho, Jun perceptibly nodded. “Help me.” He asked. He was really scared.

“I will. I always will. Don’t worry.” Sho reassured. Rubbing Jun’s back up and down, Sho kissed Jun’s temple to soothe him. “It’ll be alright, don’t worry.”

Sho hold his lover tightly through the whole night.

“Neen..”

“Hmm?”

“Sho-san.. Did he hate me?”

Nino raised his head from the sketches to look at Jun. “Why did you ask so?” he asked back.

“Sho-san, he hasn’t talked to me since the revelation.”

Nino stopped from doing his job. He stood up and went to the sink to wash his hands. “If he hasn’t talked to you, why don’t you talk to him?” he reasoned.

“It makes sense, right? I heard the doctor said before, that I’m going to be a ton of work. Why should he put up with people like me?”

Nino felt a pang in his chest. ‘What is it this time, Jun?’ he thought. He walked towards Jun’s direction and sat beside him. “Are you hungry? Do you want to eat anything? We can have light snack.” Nino suggested.

Jun shook his head. He has also stopped working and sat silently on the chair. He pulled his leg close to his chest, wrapped his arms around it and buried his head in between his knees. “Why didn’t I die, Nino? Why should I survive? Why did they leave me? Why did Sho-san take care of me instead of just let me be? He didn’t have to. I am just trouble to him, to you and to everyone!” Jun started to sob. “Why??!” he kept asking.

Nino didn’t say or do anything. He let Jun cry. He knew him. Jun will cry until he felt exhausted and fell asleep. However, it didn’t mean that it was easy for him to see Jun like that. He took his phone from his pant’s pocket and texted Sho.

>Tonight, after having dinner, when Jun is calm enough, make sure to talk to him properly. I know it was stupid of you to talk about his past like that. Help him properly, Sho-chan.<

Nino sent the message to Sho. After a while, Jun’s sobbing has calm, and he has stopped crying. “Do you want to go home?” Nino asked, wrapping his arm around Jun. Jun shook his head. “Don’t tell Sho-san.” He said.

“He would know even if I don’t tell him.”

“He won’t!” Jun insisted.

“Jun-kun,” Nino said softly. “How long do you think Sho-kun has been with you? As transparent as you are to me, don’t you think Sho-kun has it much more easier for him to read you than me?” Nino gave a soft smile.

Jun stared at Nino with wide, red eyes. “He does?” Jun asked.

Nino nodded. “You see, Jun-kun. Sho-kun loves you so much. That’s why he would endure anything for you. Even when you are being difficult, he didn’t leave you. Because he loves you. And just that reason is enough for him to stay with you. No matter what, no matter when, he is always with you.”

“Neen..”

“Hmm?”

“I lied to him.”

“What did you lie about?”

Jun went silent. He did not want to talk about that to anyone. Not to Nino, not to Sho. But Nino said Sho loves him.

“Will he hate me?” Jun asked instead.

Nino hugged Jun tighter. His lips ghosting on Jun’s hair. “He will be mad, I think. But that doesn’t make him hate you. Like I said, he loves you. And he is not mad because you lie to him, but because you think that he can’t see through you. Don’t you trust him, Jun?” Nino asked softly.

Another stream of tears fell off Jun’s eyes. Did he trust Sho? Would he allow himself to trust people? Did he trust himself? “I love him, Nino. I don’t want him to leave me.” Jun said almost whispering to himself.

“Tell that to him properly. I know he would love to hear that directly from you. Don’t you trust me?”

Jun nodded.

Nino thought it was enough for now. He let Jun to go to the washroom to refresh himself. He checked on his phone. There was a message from Sho.

>Is he okay?<

>For now, yes. I think he wanted to be honest with you about something. He didn’t tell me what but I think you know it anyway. Just talk to him.<

>Thank you, Nino. As always.<

>You both are my friends. I have my share with Jun too, you know. Don’t you dare forget that.<

>No. Never. I owe you a lot. See you later. And send my regards to Ohno-san. He was lucky to have you as his boyfriend.<

>What? You sounds jealous. Hahaha…<

>I mean that he was lucky to have a concern people like you as a boyfriend. But I think I changed my mind. You aren’t that nice anyway. Maybe I should take pity of him. Heh!<

>How dare you?! Just when I saved your beloved boyfriend from another breakdown. I hate you.<

>Yeah, I love you too. Bye, Nino.<

Nino threw his phone on the sofa. ‘Ungrateful jerk! Urgh!’ he thought annoyedly.

The dreams repeated for several nights and Jun still didn’t have any memories of it. Thinking that it was enough, Sho talked to Jun during breakfast.

“Don’t you want to see your psychiatrist, Jun?”

“Why should I?”

“You have been having nightmares.”

“I don’t remember any of that.”

Sho sighed. “Fine.” Sho said.

Jun blinked. ‘Why?’ he thought. Why Sho didn’t push him more? Was he tired of him already? Jun actually did remember of the dreams. After several nights of sleeping feeling disoriented, Jun finally realized what Sho was saying. Yes, he had a nightmare. In the dream, he saw how his family got into the accidents. He saw the car came from the front of their car, the lights were blinding. And then it was nothing. He felt numb, and then nothing. But he didn't want to say that to Sho. He didn't want Sho to know. Because he was afraid. And it hurts. It hurts so much.

Not noticing Jun’s gloomy thoughts, Sho stood up and grabbed his coat. “Do you need a ride to the studio?” He asked Jun.

Jun shook his head as the answer.

“Okay. Be careful on the way there.” Sho said before dropping a kiss to Jun’s forehead. Jun gave a small nod. Sho walked to his car and drove off to the office afterwards.

***

Sho didn’t drove off to the office, instead he went to the hospital to meet Jun’s psychiatrist. He has made an appointment beforehand, before he asked Jun to see the doctor himself, knowing Jun’s answer would be negative. Sho was hurt with Jun thought that he couldn’t read him. Who was he kidding? He knew Jun remember those dreams. But what made him said those lies was what Sho could not understand. Didn’t Jun trust him? Sho heaved a heavy sigh. He has arrived at the hospital compound. He tried to calm himself down before he stepped out of the car. It wouldn’t do any good if he was meeting the doctor while feeling so much in stress. When he has calmed enough, Sho got out from his car and walked into the hospital’s building. Getting into the psychiatric department, Sho rode the lift to level 5 where Jun’s doctor’s office located. He knocked on the door and came in at the soft answer came from the inside of the room.

“Good morning, doctor.” Sho greeted slowly.

“Hello Sakurai- san, good morning.” The doctor replied. “What’s up? You looked so stressed this early in the morning.”

Sho smiled at the teasing. He was glad that this doctor was really considerate towards his patients. Giving light humour like that would ease the nerves of the patients who usually in tense whenever they went to seepsychiatrist.

“Yo. Long time no see.” Sho retorted back.

“I would like to say the same to you.”

Sho really could just smile. “You see, I’m not sure if it’s actually me or my partner that needed your help.” He started.

“I would say you both needed it. How was your boyfriend?” the doctor asked while gesturing to Sho to sit on the chair in front of him.

“Not much. He was shutting off again.”

“I see..”

“He has been having nightmares.”

“Since when?” the doctor asked while noting in Jun’s record book.

“Last 3 days? Or 4?” Sho counted back the nights he woke up to Jun’s screaming.

“Do you know what caused it?”

“Jun got back his memories. He asked me about what happened before. In his past life. So I kind of told him everything.”

“Just told him everything or to the extent you went to places?”

“How do you know?” Sho can’t help but to ask. Psychiatrist, really. “We went to places. His old house, the graveyard and.. the place where the accident occurred.” Sho stuttered.

The doctor sighed. “How was his reaction?”

‘It’s the same question as Nino’s!’ Sho thought internally. “He cried. He seemed to have accepted it but a few days after he started to get the nightmares.” Sho explained.

“That’s normal. People don’t usually react to things happened around them immediately. Just when they were calm enough to finally process the things, it comes down to them of what actually happened. At that time they will show the real emotion. How well they could accept it, how to respond to it, or to show how shocked they actually were. Well, if you possibly can, Sakurai-san, I would like to talk to him. Personally. Do you think you can persuade him to see me?” the doctor queried after explaining to Sho what might be happening in Jun’s mind at this time.

“I’ll try my best doctor.” Sho promised.

“Okay then. I believe I would see him around not long after our meeting today. Was there anything else you would like to talk about?” the doctor asked.

“I think that was all for now. If there were any changes I would make sure to tell you immediately.” Sho said.

“Understood. Thanks for your help, Sakurai-san. Jun-san was really lucky to have you as his partner. Very caring and attentive.”

Sho smiled bitterly. “I hope that he would be more open to me. I really wanted to help him.” Sho said.

“I’m sure he knew that. Just be patient. You have been dealing with him all these years. If there were anyone to understand him the best it must be you.” The doctor encouraged Sho.

“Thank you, doctor.” Sho shook the doctor’s hand and walked out of the office and headed to his office.

Sho said that Jun was okay. But he was wrong. Jun didn’t show the symptoms right after the revelation but it came much later when he really thought that Jun was okay. It started with a night when Jun woke up drenched in sweat. Sho was wide awake too when Jun suddenly screamed in his sleep and saw Jun caught up in a bad dream.

“Jun? Jun? wake up!” Sho tried to rouse Jun from the sleep. Jun didn’t react but keep trashing and crying in his sleep. Didn’t know what else he could do to wake Jun, Sho pulled his boyfriend close to him and hugged him tightly. It worked. Jun quit trashing but the sobbing didn’t subdue. Sho caressed his hair, whispering soothing words until Jun finally calmed down. Weirdly enough, Jun didn’t wake up through the whole event but continued to sleep in a calm manner like nothing happened. Sho didn’t let go. After making sure that Jun was finally sleeping peacefully, Sho continue to sleep holding Jun tightly in his arms.

***

When Jun woke up the next morning he saw Sho was staring intently at him. He blinked a few times to get rid of the sleepiness.

“Good morning, baby,” Sho greeted.

“Morning,” Jun answered. He frowned when he realized their position. He was wrapped tightly in Sho’s arms. That was weird, wasn’t he sleeping back facing Sho? How come he could move that much while sleeping? Or was it Sho being sneaky towards him in the night? Jun glared at Sho. “why am I here?” he asked.

Sho smiled. It seemed like Jun didn’t remember. “How are you feeling?” he asked instead.

Jun frowned. “Tired.” he answered. He buried his face further into Sho’s chest not understanding why he felt like he has been running a long track, not like he just woke up from a long sleep. And his face felt like a mess. Was he crying in his sleep? His frown got deeper. “Sho?” Jun called, curiosity washed over him.

“Hmm?”

“What happened?”

Sho paused at that question. Jun really didn’t remember. Caressing Jun’s hair gently he asked, “you don’t remember?”

“What should I remember?” this time Jun looked up to face Sho.

Sho touched Jun’s forehead, easing the crease there and said, “that you had a nightmare?” Sho told him in questioning manner. The frown in Jun’s forehead appeared again, clearly not remembering the event occurred last night.

“I don’t.” Jun whispered softly, voice barely heard.

Sho said nothing in return but hugged Jun a bit tighter before he got up, bring Jun along with him. “Go shower while I prepare coffee and some light breakfast.” He commanded, leaving Jun a chaste kiss on the forehead and immediately vanished from the room.

Jun was left dumbfounded and confused. ‘what was that?’ he thought bitterly.

Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: PG
Word count: 600++

“Did Nino show you my…” Jun trailed of. Sho nodded against Jun’s head. They were in the living room snuggling together on the couch right after Sho came back from the studio. Jun snuggled further into Sho’s embrace at the respond. Sho caressed Jun’s head softly. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier Jun?” he asked gently. “I don’t know how to tell you.” Jun answered. His voice so small like a kid being scared to get scolded after he has done something wrong.

Sho didn’t say anything at that. He didn’t know what to say actually. Maybe because he understood what Jun was feeling that he felt unnecessary words are not needed to soothe the man in his arms. The caressing did not stop until Jun found himself being lulled to sleep. Sho noticed hence asked, “tired?”. Jun shook his head but didn’t pull away from the embrace. “Do you want to do something today?” Sho asked further. Jun just shrugged, not really knowing what he wanted at that moment. He was sure that he wanted to know everything right at the beginning but he was scared of what he would be revealed to. A sudden ache crept in his chest. He really wanted to know. Everything. His past life, his family, his friends, his childhood, Sho, him and Sho and him. But from his shattered memories, he knew that he missed his family. He wanted to see them but they were gone. Without realizing, a tear escaped from his eyes.

“Jun?” Sho called softly. “Do you want to visit their graves?” he asked.

Jun’s head automatically snapped up, eyes wide, not believing what he just heard.

“Your family’s.” Sho said to make it clear.

“Jun’s eyes visibly tear up. “ I want to.” He murmured. “I really want to.” He said again, much clearer. He then hugged Sho tightly and cry openly in Sho’s chest.

***

“and so? Did you really bring Jun-pon visit his family’s graves?” Nino asked when they finally got to meet for lunch together.

“I did.” Sho anwered shortly.

“how was his reaction?”

“Normal?”

“How was normal?”

“He cried, of course. But look better.. relieved? When we drove back. Well, not exactly drove back home, but I drove him to the place where the accident occurred, to their old house, and back at home showed him the old pictures. His childhood pictures with his friends, his parents and sister, at school and also our old photos.” Sho told the real event.

At that long explanation, Nino stared at Sho with horror reflected in his eyes. “You showed him all that and he was okay?” he can’t believe it. Jun has been so in distressed when he had done the sketches. And here Sho told him that he did what he did and Jun was okay?!

“Yeah,” Sho shrugged then continued, “I was worried too, if everything that I have shown or tell him might cause another breakdown for him. I was afraid if his memories suddenly comes all at once, he would relapse just like the other day but I was surprised and grateful that nothing like that happened. Perhaps.. he has been remembering bits by bits but never got the full pictures. Hence, the reaction.”

“Did you suggested him to see his psychiatrist again?”

“No. yes, I did,” Sho corrected his answer, “but he didn’t say anything.” Sho continued. “He nodded, but didn’t say anything after that. I don’t want to push him. I believed he was well aware of what he was doing and would definitely seek for help immediately when he knew he needed it.

“I really hope so, Sho-chan..” Nino answered hopefully, wishing for the best for his friends.

Current Location: in office
Current Music: NEWS - U R Not Alone

Pairing: SakuMoto (in this part is SakuMiya as friends)
Rating: PG
Word count: 700++
Summary: Jun's suppressed memories.

Apparently their talks still needs to wait as Jun looks so tired after they reached home. Sho texted Nino after he tucks Jun to bed and headed downstairs. Nino asked him to come to the studio the next day to look at Jun’s new "creation" that Nino thought what triggered Jun’s anxiety to come back.

- Comes morning -

The studio was not yet open when Sho and Nino step into the building. They get into a room and Sho immediately stunned. There are drawings, sketches, portraits and it’s everywhere! It’s all scattered inside the room. On the floor, on the walls, on the easels. There is one portrait that attracted Sho’s attention immediately when he gets into the room. It’s a family portrait. There is a boy, a girl and two adults. Probably their parents. The two kids are squished between the two adults. All the people inside the picture are smiling brightly except for the boy who has a frown of annoyance on his face. “Jun…” Sho mumbles. Sho looks into the other pictures scattered in the room. There are sketches of the family on the beach, the two kids are building sandcastles as their parents watched them with smiles on their faces. There’s a sketch of a room – a boy’s bedroom as there are shirts and shorts on the bed. Also a car.. inside of a car? It looks broken but the steering wheel can be seen clearly. There are also a few drawings with colors showing the happiness of the family. But what makes Sho’s heart clenches tightly is the drawing of a room, a ward in a hospital to be exact, with a figure lying on the bed.

“Sho-kun..” Nino calls to him.

Sho didn’t even lift his head to look at Nino. He knows what that guy is thinking. Jun’s memory loss after the accident is not a secret between them. It was years ago, Sho didn’t count. All he cares is that Jun survived the accident. He was devastated at first, when Jun woke up not remembering anything including him. But then he saw how Jun was struggling the aftermath of the accident. He realized that Jun needed him the most even when he actually had no idea who Sho was at that time.

Sho stayed. Sho had stayed all these years. Even when he knows that Jun would never remember him in the past. Well, Jun lost all of his memories. It must feel like he lost half of his life. He was like a newborn when he woke up after the long sleep. Confusion written all over his face and Sho stayed. Of course he cannot leave Jun like that. Sho did not mind to create new memories with Jun.

If there are things that Sho can’t stand about Jun, that is when Jun had his crisis. Sho couldn’t stand it when Jun suddenly flinch when people suddenly or accidentally touch him. Jun is scared with bright lights that was shone directly towards him. Jun shivers when he hears loud noises or things breaking and panic would clouded his eyes and mind immediately. Jun’s memories may not remember but his body obviously does. And Sho saw all that. He saw all of Jun’s struggles before Jun finally recovers from his trauma. But now it’s coming back. Along with his suppressed memories…

Sho doesn’t realize that he was crying until Nino lift his head and wipes his cheeks. Nino holds Sho’s face in between his palms and stares directly into Sho’s eyes. “He needs you,” is all he said. ‘now, more than ever’ he didn’t say but Sho understands. Sho hugs Nino tight. He was scared. He has endured so much all these years and he doesn’t have the confidence to fully support Jun this time. He feels weak all of a sudden. He sobbed on Nino’s shoulder. “It’s okay Sho-chan” Nino soothes. “It’ll be okay. I’m here. We are here. You are not alone. You and Jun are not alone in this. I can guarantee you that.” He promises. Sho believes him.

When Sho drives home that morning he feels lighter. So much better. All he wants to do now is to see Jun, to make sure that he is alright and pull him into his arms and never let go. They will get through this together. Definitely.

Pairing: SakuMoto
Rating: PG
Word count: 1300++
Summary: Jun had a relapse.

<Nino><4.30pm>
He relapsed, Sho-chan. We are in the clinic. He ran out of his meds.

Sho sighs. He should’ve seen it coming. He knows it. Jun has been hiding it from him and he knew it, damn it! Yet still he didn’t say anything. Sho feels like banging his head so hardly on the table in his office.

<Sho><4.33 pm>
Sorry Nino. I still stuck with these damn papers. Please accompany him home first.

Sho feels like he was pleading too much to Nino. He knows that Nino doesn’t mind to help a friend, but it feels like he was prioritizing work over his boyfriend. But he has to get this job done or else there would be compound. He doesn’t want to get any losses anymore. Damn those idiots who like to delay work until the last minute!

<Nino><4.34pm>
Ok, Sho-chan, I can stay until tonight but please don’t be too late. I don’t want to stay overnight. Oh-chan wouldn’t let me explain till the end. =(

<Sho><4.34pm>
Thanks Nino. Send my regards to Ohno-san. Tell him I thank him for letting you stay with Jun.

<Nino><4.34pm>
Just come back fast. Jun needs you, not us.

Sho didn’t reply to that. He knew it even if Nino didn’t say so. ‘Wait for me for a while, Jun,’ he prayed silently.

***

Sho enter the apartment and saw Nino and Ohno snuggling together on his couch.

“I hope you’re not doing anything dirty in my house,” Sho greeted.

“yeah, you’re welcome Sho-chan. He is in the bedroom,” Nino said sarcastically.

“well then, we are going first. There are food in the fridge. Just heat it again. Jun already had his meal,” Ohno tell him and smile softly.

“thank you so much, Ohno-san, Nino,” Sho bows to the two of them.

Ohno gives him a pat on his shoulder and proceeds to the door.

Sho heads upstairs after locking the front door. He entered the bedroom, (his and Jun’s bedroom) and see the man sitting on the floor beside the bed. He walked towards him.

Jun was sitting hugging his knees so close to his chest. He seems lost. Sho sits on the bed next to Jun and touch Jun’s head softly. He caress it slowly like a brother comforting his sulking younger brother. Jun buries his head further in between his knees.

“won’t you get onto the bed?” Sho asks softly.

Jun shakes his head.

“had your medicine?” he ask again.

A nod.

Sho slides down from the bed and sits beside Jun. he pulled Jun close to his chest and caresses his back. Jun was tense at first but slowly Sho feels his body relax. Jun melts into his embrace. Sho keeps caressing his back until he feels Jun sag a little.

“sleep?” Sho asked. He feels Jun nods against his chest. Slowly Sho drags Jun onto the bed and tuck him under the duvet. “I’m going to take shower and then I will join you, okay Jun?” Sho said touching the man’s cheek. Jun nods and snuggles further into the duvet hiding half of his face under it. Sho chuckles and peck Jun on the cheek before leave for the shower.

When Sho finishes his shower he saw Jun already asleep. Sho smiles to himself and decided to join Jun on their bed. He pulls Jun close to him and sleep like that, hugging each other closely and didn’t let go until morning.

***

When Jun wakes up in the morning he sees a pair of big eyes staring so intently at him. Jun blushes and pull the blanket up to his head.

Sho pull the blanket back revealing his blushing boyfriend under the cover. “why are you hiding like that?” Sho asked laughing at him. Jun grunts and kick his leg. “why are you being creepy so early in the morning?” Jun retorts back. Sho just smiles, patting his head. “I made breakfast, get up and let’s eat together, okay?” he said. He left Jun and head downstairs giving Jun time to be fully wake up and take his shower.

“at what time will you be home today?” Jun asks while they are eating their breakfast.

“6 at most. I finished all the important things yesterday. Today should be lighter.” Sho anwered. Jun hums as he acknowledge Sho’s answer. “you’re going to the studio?” Sho ask Jun. Jun only nods. “Want me to pick you up?” Sho offers. Jun stop eating for a bit then nods his head hesitantly. He didn’t look into Sho’s eyes, afraid of what he will see. Surely Sho would want to talk about last night. But knowing Sho, he wouldn’t say a thing until he knows Jun is ready to talk. He is understanding like that. That’s what he loves about Sho the most. “At 6 then,” Sho promises.

***

It was Aiba-san who greeted him when Sho enters the bakery. It was 5 in the afternoon and Sho already finished his job. Just as he expected, nothing important today so he could go back home early. Nino texted him telling Jun is at Ohno’s bakery so Sho drives directly to the bakery.

“Ah! Sakurai-san, Jun is at the back,” the man greeted Sho enthiustically just like how he greeted every customer that walk into the bakery. “thank you Aiba-san.” Sho greeted back politely. He walks through the door that connected the kitchen to the resting room at the back of the bakery. Sho sees Jun lying on his side on the couch. No Ohno-san around. He walks closer to Jun. Sho’s heart clench at the sight of his lover. No doubt, Jun is crying. ‘what is it this time?’ Sho asks internally. Jun flinch when Sho touch his shoulder. “Jun, it’s okay. This is me.” Sho says softly. Jun curl further avoiding Sho’s touch. Sho sits on the couch and put Jun’s head on his lap. Jun resisted. Jun pushed Sho’s hand that tried to touch him. They struggle until Sho got his lips on Jun. Sho kiss Jun passionately. He pours all his feelings into the kiss trying to tell him that he is there, that he love him with all his heart unconditionally. Sho caresses Jun’s face, coaxing him to kiss him back. He felt the damp on his cheek and taste the salty tears of Jun, yet he didn’t pull back from the kiss. After some time he felt Jun kiss him back albeit a bit hesitantly. They broke the kiss when the both of them needed the air to return to their lungs and Sho pulled Jun into his chest fiercely. He holds Jun tight, wanting his boyfriend to feel his presence and wake up from the misery. Jun is sobbing now, holding so tightly to Sho like his life depended on him. Sho comforts him by whispering his words of love, promising Jun that he will always be with him and be the constant presence by Jun’s side.

Sho holds Jun for a while longer after Jun has calm down from his breakdown. Jun didn’t let go of Sho either even when they heard somebody knock on the door. Jun hides his face on Sho’s shoulder when Ohno come into the room bringing some bread and drinks. Ohno, who saw the two men’s position decided to not linger and exit directly after he put the plate on the small table beside the door. Sho thanked him silently, still holding Jun close to him. “we will definitely talk about this later okay, Jun-kun?” Sho said softly. He feels Jun nod against his shoulder and think it’s enough for now.

They eat the bread Ohno brought when Jun finally regain his composure. Sho notes that he should also talk to Nino about his boyfriend. But for now Jun is the most important thing he needs to take care first. He drives them home after having a light meal for their dinner in a small restaurant. Their talks will continue once they reach home.

Pairing: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho/Ninomiya Kazunari
Genre: fluff, friendship,
Rating: PG
Length: one-shot

“Sho-san..”

Sho heard the whimper from the couch. “Jun?” he calls back. He sees Jun is curling on the couch, forehead pinched and he is sweating a lot. He comes to the younger man and touch his forehead. Jun was burning. “hey..” Sho said, kneeling in front of the man. “you are getting worse, Jun. let’s go to the clinic.” Sho persuaded Jun once again. That man has come to work this morning even though he said that he was feeling unwell. He did tell his friends and Nino already check his temperature and confirmed that he has a mild fever. But his condition is getting worse now.

“Nino promised to send me home today. He would be worry if he comes back and do not find me here.”

“I’ll text him. I’ll ask him to drop at your place when he is done.” Sho reassures. His hand is rummaging Nino’s bag to find fever patch. He knows Nino has it because he handed it to him when that guy catch a flu two days before. Maybe Jun has gotten the fever from him. Once he find it, he patch on Jun’s forehead and guided the younger man to the door. He sends Nino a message when he has put Jun inside the car and make him comfortable in the seat. Then he drives to the clinic.

***

The door was not locked when Nino turned the doorknob to enter Jun’s apartment. “I’m here!” he calls out into the house. He heard Sho’s answer from the kitchen area. “what are you cooking?” he asked once he’s reached at the kitchen.

“chicken porridge.”

“oh. Jun is?”

“in the room.” Sho tasted the porridge and put the ladle on the stove. He wiped his hand with the kitchen towel. “I’ll leave him in your care. The meds are on the dining table.” He said and starting to collect his belongings in the living room.

“ok, Sho-chan. Do your best tonight,” Nino said and gives his usual 2-fingers salute to the news-caster. Sho replied with the same gesture and get into his car. He immediately starts the engine and drives away going to the NTV building.

Nino goes upstairs to check on Jun and found him indeed sleeping soundly in the room. He came closer to check on his condition. Jun is still warm and the fever patch has dried. He carefully peel off that thing from Jun’s forehead trying not to wake the sleeping man up. Jun stirs anyway when he felt cold hands on his skin. He tried to open his eyes but the headache is still hammering inside of his head.

“shh.. it’s okay, I just want to change the fever patch.” Nino said to Jun.

“Nino?”

“hmm?”

“what time is it?”

“4.30 in the evening.”

“where is Sho-kun?”

“went to his ZERO meeting.”

Jun tries to sit up and Nino helped him. He managed to change the fever patch with the new one.

“how are you feeling?” he asked then.

“head still hurts. Feels hot. And cold too,” Jun whines miserably.

Nino just smiles, not knowing how to comfort his friend. “do you supposed to eat anything? You need to take your meds. Sho-chan has made you chicken porridge.”

“un. ‘think it’s okay. I’m quite hungry anyway.”

“okay. Wait a second, I go fetch it for you.”

“thanks, Nino.”

“don’t mention it.” Nino reply with a smile.

“do you want me to feed you or you can eat by yourself?” Nino asked teasingly.

“I’m not invalid, you know?” Jun just roll his eyes.

Nino laughs. He puts the tray on the bedside table and hands Jun the bowl of porridge.

When Jun brings the spoon to his mouth, Nino can see that Jun’s hand is a little shaking.

“are you sure you’re okay? Your hand is trembling.” Nino addressed.

“I’m fine. Just a little weak.”

Nino sighs. “come, let me feed you.”

Jun grunts but let him have his way.

“how does it taste?” Nino asked after a few spoons.

“okay. Can’t taste properly though”

Nino hummed. The takes a sip to taste and raised his eyebrow. “well, this is not so bad.” He commented.

Once Jun finished his meal and has eaten his medicine, Nino get up to put the dishes away.

“will you stay?” Jun asked before Nino exits the room.

Nino’s steps halted halfway to the door. “surely Jun-pon. Someone needs to make sure that you are taking good care of yourself.” Nino answered the question.

Jun smiles, not at all offended at that teasing. Nino is Nino.

“I asked Oh-chan to talk to your manager to rearrange your schedule. I have work tomorrow morning but I already asked Aiba-chan to come. He will keep you company tomorrow until Sho-chan or Oh-chan is free. Don’t worry okay? We are here with you.” Nino said with a smile.

Jun nods in understanding. “thanks Nino” is his short reply. He is really grateful to have such wonderful people as his friends.

Current Location: in office
Current Music: Arashi - Circle

hello.. my first drabble is up!

***

"Oh-chan.."

A small whimper was heard from the bed. Ohno Satoshi walked quickly as though he was flying to the direction of the voice. He just finished talking to the doctor as he came back into the ward that Ninomiya Kazunari was roomed in and it seems that his lover has just returned to the consciousness.

"shhh... Kazu, i'm here," came the soft soothing whisper.

Nino as though he cannot processed his brain for where he is and what was happening around him as he only remembered the pain in his chest once he was out of his house. He remembered calling Satoshi just before he went out, and was still talking through the phone when the attack happened.

"somebody.. Someone.. Oh-chan, it hurts," Nino keeps blabbering incoherent words as though he still cannot grasp his surrounding.

"shh.. Calm down Kazu. You are safe now. Don't worry. I got that bastard who attacked you. You are safe now. It's okay," Ohno rubbing Nino's back in a soothing manner to avoid him got into a panic attack. In his arms he could feel his lover was trembling. He will never forget this day when somebody was definitely trying to ruin his life by attacking his lover.

'you'll definitely pay it back,' Ohno thought with full hatred. He keeps his lover in his arms, rubbing up and down his back, whispering sweet nothings in his ear until he feels Nino sag a little signalling that he has fallen asleep again. He lay his lover back gently on the soft mattress as he caress his cheek, watching Nino's face with a deep frown on his forehead.

"i'll be back, Kazu. And we will be good for eternity after this," Ohno whispered to Nino even though he knows Nino will not hear him as he was succumbed in a deep slumber. And with that, Ohno left. For the real hunt.

***

hope you will like it and comments are welcomed! (^_^)

Current Location: home
Current Music: none

ohhhh
Tameiki de makumorita kinou
omou you ni umaku ikanai toki mo
sotto hitomi tojireba ano hi no egao ga hora
daijoubu hitori janai kara

kotoba dase nakutatte
omoi todokunda natte
chiisana ai wo dakishimeteru

naitatte, warattatte ashita wa yatte kuru kara
namida made hareru you na egao de utau yo
kurishikiru yuuki no naka hashaida kodomo no you ni
boku kara, kimi kara, saa hajimeyou One Time..

saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(kimi ga mata warautabi)
sou walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(sekaijuu wo mawatte)
saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(shiawase wa hirogatte)
motto ookina ai wo hora
walalalala Love Peace Smile

kokoro kaeru basho nante nakute
mogaku bakari de tsukare hateta michi
sore demo kibou wa koko ni
"kusottare' wa gomibako ni
daijoubu nantoka narukara

katachi wa waru kutatte
jibun rashiku iyoutte
chiisana ai wo dakishimetara

naitatte, warattatte ashita wa yatte kuru kara
namida made hareru you na egao de utau yo
kurishikiru yuuki no naka hashaida kodomo no you ni
boku kara, kimi kara, saa hajimeyou One Time..

saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(kimi ga mata warautabi)
sou walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(sekaijuu wo mawatte)
saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(shiawase wa hirogatte)
motto ookina ai wo hora
walalalala Love Peace Smile

naitatte, warattatte ashita wa yatte kuru kara
namida made hareru you na egao de utau yo
kurishikiru yuuki no naka hashaida kodomo no you ni
boku kara, kimi kara, saa hajimeyou One Time..

saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(kimi ga mata warautabi)
sou walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(sekaijuu wo mawatte)
saa walalala.. Love Peace Smile
(shiawase wa hirogatte)
motto ookina ai wo hora
walalalala Love Peace Smile

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: in my room
Current Music: LPS

Doors lyric short version. Lyrics by my ears so pardon for any mistakes. Anyway thanks to arashixohmiya for checking it for me. Love you always.

Doors

Ahhhh

Just stand by you every moment

You are the only one

Ato wazuka dake mou sukoshi dake de

Kokoro tsunagatte tobira wa hirakusa

Ato wazuka no pray tomoshite sakende

Kaete yukeru

Kimi ga umarete nande mono

Yoru wo yubide tano wo tara

Kyou no namida hito hira darou?

Bokura deatte mijikuna kisetsu

Sore ga haruka na monogatari ni

Naru koto dare ga kite dekiru no?

Kikoetemasuka?

Tadashi sa dake de katarerukenzai

Oboetemasuka?

Akirame da sou na sasenai mirai

Sagashitai

Ato wazuka dake mou sukoshi dake de

Kokoro tsunagatte tobira wa hirakusa

Ato wazuka no pray tomoshite sakende

Sono mukou made

Motto negai sarakedashite ii

Sou kitto kotae hitotsu janai kara

Tada hitotsu dake no pray sono te de uketomei

Hashiri tsuzukete

Kukakutozashita ano kumo yagatte

Hikari no ishi ni kasunde

Hitotsu ji no kiseki mo shimesu kara

Jibun shinjite kono sadame wo kagayakaseyou

Stand by you every moment

You are the only one

Ato wazuka dake mou sukoshi dake de

Kokoro tsunagatte tobira wa hirakusa

Ato wazuka no pray tomoshite sakende

Sono mukou made

Motto negai sarakedashite ii

Sou kitto kotae hitotsu janai kara

Kakegaenai pray kono te de sukande

Kaete yukeru sa..

*this is my very first entry though. Yoroshiku ne, minna. =)

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Location: in front my laptop
Current Music: doors

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shozi_sakurai

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